For years I have been interested in the wellness field of integrating the mind, body, and soul. I have done several stress management and wellness groups over the last thirty years even before it was a popular topic. For example, I am a big fan of John Kabat-Zin’s excellent work on mindfulness and wellness as well as mindful parenting.
As I coach stressed and weary parents, my interest in integrating mind, body, and heart work has resurfaced. It seems that first and foremost stress management begins in noticing our body’s codes. It is a simple place to start. That is why practically all wellness practitioners have us start by breathing. It is physical and brings us back to ourselves. We say we want to change but we go about change in very hard and typically unsuccessful ways as we work against our natural needs.
I have learned over and over that unless we change from a place of hope and joy we continue to remain stuck in behaviors that do not serve us or our children well. Quality change is stimulated best by awakening our best selves and daring to dream. We often think that depriving ourselves, or forcing ourselves to do better is how we will change. We do the same with our children.The truth is, the healthier and happier we are the more likely we are to engage in personal growth and renewal. Contrary to how we often think, it is success that creates more success.
Happiness leads to success more often than success leads to happiness.
Recently, I have deepened my own understanding of the importance of paying attention to our body and its role in our overall health and happiness. Also, recent research has verified that next to being loving and affectionate with our children, managing our own stress is the second most significant factor in quality parenting! (See Scientific American Mind November/December issue 2010…Top Ten Parent Competences.)
I am seeing more clearly that our body becomes a projection for our inner beliefs about food, exercise, rest and play. It carries our pain, our fears, sorrow, worries, tension and various appetites for survival, belonging and love.
Our body is our best stress management tool! Modern science is showing amazing proof that the body “has a mind of its own.” Every cell of our body has a memory and works to keep us in balance.
The body is a major messenger, even ambassador for our heart and mind. Do we know how to actually listen to our bodies?
I think it is very difficult to pay attention to our body signals as we are immersed in a culture addicted to activity as well as facts, ideas, inventions, and all things brain-ish (I know, there is no such word!). And I am terribly guilty here. But when we ignore the importance of our body’s messages we compromise our spiritual and emotional health as well.
You see, our brain rarely lets us relax and is almost never centered in the here and now. It is very hard for us to be fully present in the moment and completely attentive to ourselves and our environment.
In contrast,our body can only be here and in the now. What a gift that can be to us! My how we misuse this dwelling place. The list is endless. We reject it, hate it, criticize it, complain about it, abuse it, neglect it, compare it to others. We dress to cover up its flaws, we squeeze into things that are too tight for it to flow or we swim in things that hopefully conceal where it flows too much.We attempt all kinds of bargaining with our body … I will eat broccoli tomorrow, I will sleep on the weekend, I will go for a walk on Sunday afternoon. The deals we strike with our bodies are endless, and rarely good for us in the long run!
How would we do things differently if we really listened to our body?
Take a moment and fully notice what it does for you and how well it has treated you.
Of course, we are more than our bodies in a spiritual sense, but I think it is easy to ignore these incredible earth-suits that were designed just for us to live and navigate on Planet Earth!
So, as part of being aware of things we tend to ignore, let’s practice taking deep breaths and noticing exactly where we are carrying tension, fatigue, heart burn or headache. As usual, I am only recommending that we start by noticing, by being more aware. .. not by being critical. Remember happiness brings about more positive change than self-condemnation.
When we pay attention to what we are feeling in our bodies it leads us to what we are feeling in our inner being. When we ignore the signals, we either eat too much or too little, exercise too hard or not enough, sleep too little or take too few mental breaks in our day. And we feel generally miserable.
Perhaps we would save ourselves a lot of anger, irritation, over reactions, and discouragement if we came back to our bodies for a break several times a day. Then, and only then will we truly be fully present in the here and now!
Notice and nurture your body and it will thank you! So will your heart and mind.