Have you ever noticed a slight shift in how you feel about doing something just by changing a word?
I cannot seem to help myself when it comes to noticing the power of words. It isn’t like I look for it. Simple everyday words (the nickel variety) and common objects often intrigue and inspire me so much I just have to share them with you. I am a little quirky in my penchant for down-home philosophy. Remember, reading this blog is not a “should” for you (after you read this one). You can always push the delete button!
Of course my hope is that it helps you on a day when you could use some redirection in how you are thinking about problems.
The other day when I had to make a decision about what to do next I had a flash of insight. I was thinking, “Oh so many things to do and oh so little time.” (And I am retired!)
I began to think, “I should …” followed by quite a list. Then I had another more freeing thought . . . “I could ….” Could sounded better. Then it really struck me that I did have a different emotional response to the words “could” and “should.”
Why?
For me, it seems that “could” generates a feeling of possibility. “I could write” feels very different from “I should write.” Could feels more creative and satisfying. Should elicits a sense of pressure that can lead to feeling like a victim.
Possibility leads to choice. Should-ability leads to pressure. “Would” by the way, leads to excuses or even real reasons I cannot do something. “I would but…” “I would have , but….”
To summarize, could=possibility and choice, should=pressure and stress and would=excuses or reasons why not.
So here is my rather goofy but fun and thought inducing insight. If you take the U out of COULD it becomes C O L D. It lacks warmth and passion. You are not in it. At that point a could (personal preference and choice) can quickly become a should (imposed and feeling victimized). One inspires personal and creative power and one requires grit and determination.
Lest you think I have completely lost my mind, I do know that we all must live with shoulds. But I wonder if most of them can be upgraded to coulds.
When you are feeling some pressure by things on your list, ask yourself, “Is this a should?” or “Is this a could?” If the answer is could, then next ask yourself if U (your heart and soul) are really in it? Then you can figure out the why or why not. But at least you can then choose your actions informed by your self-awareness. You can step into your creative powers.
Let’s see… I could now do some writing, research topics on my list, rake the yard, go to the gym, get groceries …