Many of us live in a culture that compresses our time to such a degree there is little room for anything that will delay us or interfere with our productivity.
We are often a time-driven people. In fact, we are driven in many ways. We want to do everything well, be successful, productive, intelligent, attractive, fit, and at least financially comfortable. We have high expectations for ourselves. Our companies don’t help that by having such high expectations for us to keep proving ourselves to be valuable. On top of that we are parents, spouses, partners, friends, and children who sometimes care for aging or ill parents.
When I first started writing this reflection I began observing how most of us live; I got scared by it.
It was an alarmingly perfect description of the lives of many (if not most) people in our country’s current culture.
It would make you tired just reading it! So I deleted it.
I wish it were that easy to wipe away our pressures.
Often the worst pressure comes from within. We have accumulated deep fears of failure, disapproval, and/or rejection that foster our driven-like behaviors.
Sometimes we do not change until life forces the issue, which often comes through difficult experiences.
Maybe roadblocks are not so bad for us. Roadblocks may even be a medicine for the soul. Difficult to swallow, but good for us.
And there are many kinds of roadblocks…..
I chose this picture because of the sheep.
You see, one of the things on my list of personal expectations is to write a book especially designed for today’s parents based on the Twenty-Third Psalm (often called the shepherd’s psalm). I had hoped to have it published by spring. It is not even written yet. I want it to be a calming, comforting, yet encouraging and inspiring book for busy and often worried parents.
I have disappointed myself and fallen short of my personal goals and expectations. However, I am still in the process of writing.
I too have had roadblocks. They have shown up in two forms:
1. Some blocks to productivity, creativity, and success come from within our own minds. For example, many of us constantly battle self-defeating beliefs that are based on fears of inadequacy. They are like the potholes on our brain’s efficient highway. Left unattended they can be difficult to navigate and slow us down in our pursuit of happiness and harmony.
Since Tom’s cancer surgery, it has rained nearly every day making the drive to his appointments quite dreary. It has been a tough winter here in upstate New York so the road we have to take is filled with potholes. Some have been roughly filled in and many are awaiting attention. It is a very rough ride. You really think about things like that when your passenger has had surgery. Every bump hurts and slows down the ride. It is a great metaphor for our inner potholes that complicate life’s journey.
2. Some blocks are from events external to ourselves such as my husband’s cancer surgery. They are like detours.
Truthfully, I have been experiencing both. I know you often do too.
So, in this article I am not proposing answers but rather I am suggesting we ask ourselves some questions:
What are your potholes?
What are your roadblocks?
And most important of all, how you are responding to them?
How we respond reveals our underlying beliefs, fears, expectations etc.
Let’s just start by noticing. Be honest with yourself. Awareness is a useful place to start.
Recently on my own journey, honest answers to those questions, listening to challenging feedback from friends who have kindly pointed out I have grown too intense and fearful, and encouragement from my coach, is bringing me back to my own heart and soul. It is such a good feeling to come back into harmony with oneself. Fear of failure and rejection are joy’s great squelchers. When we face and walk through our fears we find our soul’s true work and come back to who we are at our core being.
Ironically, roadblocks can bring us back to ourselves and help us rediscover what really matters if we allow ourselves to fearlessly face the lessons they can teach us.