This morning Tom followed me as we drove separately to the restaurant for coffee. While waiting for the light to turn green so I could cross the main highway, my mind wandered. I was deep in thought about a wonderful young mom I had coached last evening.
Meanwhile, I was not fully engaged in driving.
When I crossed the road and prepared to turn left into the restaurant I saw a car coming toward me but misjudged how quickly it was arriving. He was likely hurrying to take advantage of the green light from the opposite direction.
I turned in front of him.
There were no screeching tires and he did not have to slam on his brakes, but it was inconveniently close for both of us. I was startled and he was understandably annoyed (as could be determine by his non-verbals).
To add to my discomfort and embarrassment, Tom witnessed my bad move. I admitted to him what was going on in my head. I acknowledged my error and embarrassment, and expressed my sympathy for the other driver’s annoyance.
Tom kindly grinned and expressed minimal judgment. He said that it was not my best move but it was not life threatening. He thought I had deliberately chosen to scoot into the parking lot. I wish that were true. The truth is I did not see the car until it was too close. Either way, however, it was a mistake.
The good news here is through some personal growth of my own and the kindness of Tom, I noted it, have tucked away its lesson, and had a wonderful day. Ordinarily I would feel guilty and fall into self-condemnation which is a guaranteed intrusion in one’s happiness. Being judgmental toward self or others is a a short-cut to unhappiness.
Tom offered great advice . . “Honey,” he said, “you just need to do less thinking and more driving.”
So my guru of practical wisdom (Tom) voiced what ancient and modern wisdom seekers and philosophers have said for a long time. “Live in the now and let go of the past.” Be Mindful. Stay focused.
“Less thinking and more driving” can be applied in many other areas of life. But let’s start behind the wheel (even though or especially because) it is the one place we can think. And Memorial Day weekend is a good time to stay focused when we drive!