For years I have been reluctant to use the word “happy” as a desired value. I think that is because, like love, “happiness” is misrepresented. From my perspective, intellectuals and religious models in my life have emphasized all things profound and responsible. Having been raised within a strict Christian context, being obedient, selfless, ambitious, faithful, responsible and yes, loving were highly valued. But happiness? Not so much.
Lately I have been seeing the importance of happiness. And science research is supporting the brain-behavior connections associated with happiness for
learning, for creating, and for success.
Happiness brightens the way and lightens the load. It makes learning and doing easier. It is attractive on everyone and it is contagious, too! We laugh when others do, and we smile at the happiness of children.
Even our forefathers understood that it is a basic human right to be free in our pursuit of happiness.
Happy people are usually more loving, less condemning, more creative, and grateful. They are generally less fearful and shame-filled. They harness positive energy. Happiness is not about pursuing fame and fortune. Happiness is a state of being. Coming from love and grace, it is not something you can earn, win, or buy.
Happiness is a matter of the heart and mind. Again, happiness makes everything lighter and brighter.
My Friend Jen ~ A Case for Happiness...
Today I want to share a story about my friend, Jen. It is a story that frames a picture of success borne from her state of happiness.
First let me tell you some things about Jen. She is amazing. She is fun, fit, and fabulous as a mom, wife, and friend, and she lives from an authentic place of integrity and love. She is creative, smart, determined, disciplined, and playful.
She seeks people who help her stretch and grow. She is humble enough to be mentored and happy enough to take risks. She champions children and youth potential and enthusiastically encourages everyone to embrace who they are while becoming more than they could imagine.
And Jen always has a vision. For example, last year her vision was of running a full marathon. She trained hard for endurance and accepted that speed was not her forte. She met her marathon goal and was supremely happy. Watching her cross the finish line with her boys and family cheering was very exciting.
While moving on to other goals, she has continued to run with her friend, Karen, for exercise and friendship. Karen is a fast and competitive runner. The “girls” formed a deep bond and have run together daily. Karen may slow down some to talk with Jen while Jen pushes herself to keep up with Karen.
Jen is not running for competition. She just loves being fit and being with Karen. They are happy together.
A couple of weekends ago was the annual Lilac Festival in Rochester, NY. And there was a 5K lilac run that Karen was planning to complete. She asked Jen to join her.
On that same day, however, Jen had planned a big birthday party for her son. Wanting to make wise choices rather than over extending herself causing needless tension and anxiety, she observed how it sat with her before responding. Jen loves to create birthday parties and she is amazing at it. It is a passion for her to watch children gain confidence and have fun in the process. She loves to celebrate life.
Jen did agree to do the run with Karen just for the fun of it, making Karen promise she would run on ahead any time she could. The race was early, and it was a beautiful morning for a run.
Jen ran the race and had a wonderful experience. She was thrilled that the crowds were cheering so loudly for her friend, who is well known and respected in the running community. She just felt happy to be there and celebrating Karen’s run. She made it home in time to easily prepare for the birthday gala. She was happy when she ran, and she was happy when she was with the kids. And Karen came to the party where she saw Jen’s incredible skills with children. It was a perfect day for them.
Two days later when we chatted on the phone, Jen first checked on how things were in my life (an example of being selfless). We set a time to get together, but before we hung up she shyly asked, “Do you mind if I brag just a little about something?”
“Of course not!” I chirped.
She told me the story about the run, and the happiness she felt. Remember she ran for the joy of being with Karen.
She never even thought to check her rank in the race!
And you may have guessed it already, but Karen had checked the results and called Jen to tell her that she came in second place in her age group! She had a very fast run. (It was a by-product of her happiness.)
I nearly jumped for joy. It is a perfect example of how happiness opens up the door for success and sometimes when happiness is a big factor, the success feels almost effortless. You forget the long hours of training and practice.
She was thrilled with how it felt and completely excited about placing second. But she was happy anyway. This was the frosting on the cake.
As you can tell, Jen has a special place in my heart. Her love of life and enthusiasm are contagious and compelling. She harnesses the power of happiness to remain disciplined and focused. She has some new dreams of how to serve children and families. And she will live out those dreams I am sure.
Happiness is really like being “in the zone” or living from flow rather than fear of limitations. Happiness expands our minds and souls and attracts good things and incredible people into our lives. It compels us to live life with gratitude, adventure, and joy. It helps in overcoming obstacles and solving problems that inevitably surface.
I say let’s embrace happiness and promote it on our planet. It is, after all, contagious. I know, because I think I am coming down with the happiness virus. Thank you, Jen, for spreading it. I want to pass it on.