Truth be told, Halloween has never been my favorite holiday. Except for one thing and one thing only. Candy. I have always had a sweet tooth and we rarely had candy in our home. We had the best food you could ask for as we lived on a large farm. But not candy. It was truly a treat. So I liked the “treat” part of Halloween more than you can imagine. You need to know that in order to understand my story. . .
You see, there are two reasons I did not enjoy Halloween very much. One, I was always scared of my own shadow and Halloween seemed to give people license to be scary. And two, when we were children our parents did not have the means nor the time to go shopping for costumes like others wore, so when we were paraded around the elementary school to show off our costumes, my costume never measured up. I was always either a ghost or a “hobo.” I never knew exactly what that meant, but we wore our torn jeans (not a fad then) and flannel shirts and carried a stick over our shoulders with a little pouch at the end.
So that brings me to when I was in second grade when I learned a very hard lesson.
As usual, I ate most of my candy within 24-48 hours after trick or treating. Also as usual, my older brother who did not like candy was likely to keep his stash for most of the year. On top of that, he would keep it on the stand by his bed and it was my chore to make everyone’s bed before going to school.
His candy sorely tempted me day after day, even if it did get stale.
But this year was to be different. Early in the month, I had received a wonderful birthday gift that I actually loved. It was a set of little plastic bricks for building houses and such. My brother’s bricks were still the old wooden kind and he eyed mine with envy. And I loved having something he did not have. But apparently not enough to stop me from being totally foolish.
Opportunity knocked and my nine year old brother was an opportunist! I asked for some of his candy and he said he would trade ALL of his candy for my bricks. I agreed.
What was I thinking? Oh foolish me. I traded something that would bring lasting and great satisfaction for a passing pleasure. As soon as the last piece of candy was gone I woke up to my mistake. And I cried.
Dad was a kind, consistent, and creative disciplinarian. I begged and pleaded. Dad just shook his head and said, “that is a hard lesson to learn, but it was an agreement you made.”
He did not yell, nor did he belittle me. He even looked sympathetic but he felt it was a valuable lesson. And one of his deepest values was being true to your word. He lived by that. And he wanted his children to do the same. This was a “natural consequence” lesson if you have ever heard of one!
While this trade seems so foolish as to be stupid, be kind and remember I was young.
Yet, as I reflect on this lesson I realize that all of us do this sort of thing as adults. In fact, that is partly why our country is in such a financial crisis. We want what we want and so badly that we lose our common sense. And we find it painful when we lose it. But we have already negotiated the trade and cashed in sustainable satisfaction and peace of mind for passing fancies that bring temporary pleasures, often which we cannot sustain.
While I truthfully hoped my dad would cave in, in my little girl heart I knew he was right. I still know he was right. And I am still learning.
After all, we just want the treat and not the trick, right? But life brings both! Uh oh, I think I hear spooky folks coming down the walk. Only treats tonight!