Time and time again through the years I have listened to parents, (mothers in particular) when they search for how to describe something that worries them. They usually end up saying, I can’t explain it but I “know” something “is not quite right.” They often add, ” but maybe it is just my imagination” in a voice that suggests a mixture of hope they are wrong and fear that they are right.
After working in the field of mental health counseling, teaching, school psychology, and now life coaching, I can honestly say this is such a repeated theme that it bears attention. A “gut feeling” is one that causes sleepless nights and various other reactions, depending on the nature of the parent and/or child. But I would dare to say with perhaps only a slight exaggeration that 99 per cent of the time they are “on to something.”
Trust your gut.
Interestingly, worry often shows up in our “gut” first And being insatiably interested in how Nature works as a vehicle to teach us humans some “wisdom lessons” (wisdom here meaning understanding and insights), I want to share what our goldfinches “taught” me this week. And the reactions I had were similar to how we initially process our concerns about our children or grandchildren.
As many of you already know, Tom and I thoroughly enjoy watching birds at our home. We have a feeder that sits just under our kitchen window and a finch feeder and two small humming bird feeders that are on hooks off our deck. Our beautiful trees all provide hiding places for birds who wait their turn (or not) at the seeds.
But something seemed wrong. The hummingbirds were happily guzzling down the nectar, the bluejays, chickadees, cardinals, woodpeckers, miscellaneous small birds, morning doves and, yes, of course the grackles, were doing their usual songs and dances on the feeder.
I don’t know why, but it took a couple of days before I realized that the goldfinches were missing! Tom’s morning ritual is to fill the feeders so I mentioned it to him. He said he had noticed the finch feeder did not need a refill. We both puzzled over it briefly and moved on.
A couple more days went by. It began to become a concern for me. I was troubled about it and brought it up again to Tom who agreed it was disconcerting. Almost simultaneously we wondered if something was wrong with the seed. Surely not. We had just filled it with fresh seed from the store. Two more days went by. Life moves quickly around here (as it does at your house) and I simply did not pay enough attention to the matter.
Finally, I really, really wanted to see those beautiful goldfinches back at the feeder. I climbed up, took down the feeder, and emptied it. Yuck! The seeds were clearly not good. I washed the feeder out thoroughly.
Then, I checked the little bucket we use for pouring out the seeds. Oh my goodness. I was aghast and “freaked out” as some would say. When I unscrewed the lid (not a see-through bucket) out flew millers. I ran with it out to the back wooded area and emptied it. Then I grabbed the hose and soaked them. I will spare you the ugly details.
Now I knew what the problem was and in this case it was easily solvable. (But it is often a long, long haul when it comes to solving our concerns about our children!)
I would get new seeds in the morning. I knew the birds would quickly flock back to the feeder.
Not so fast! We waited about four days for the goldfinches to come. I wished I could call them. I wished I could tell them how sorry I was. I wished I could let them know they were still safe here. I even sprinkled some seed on the deck railing right under the feeder.
Eventually, two brave male goldfinches perched on the top of the hook a few times. They did not touch the seed. Then, one, two, three took the risk. Within two more days the feeder is steadily full of finches and small woodpeckers happily eating again. I am thrilled.
Wisdom Lessons . . .
The nudge of concern is what propelled me to take action. A “nudge of concern” could also be called “a gut feeling.” When I did take action it was not pleasant and the results were not immediate. It would have been so much easier if the birds could communicate with us . . . in our language. But a bird does not have a human brain. Still Nature blessed them with innate instincts to avoid poisonous seeds.
Sometimes being human with a highly developed cerebral cortex means we can talk ourselves into and out of most anything, so we do not follow our innate wisdom. Our gut, even our whole body carries within it wisdom.
Our problem is lack of listening, understanding, and fear of not being good enough.
But our soul’s wisdom knows we need to feast on healthy seeds that have not been invaded by worms. Our bodies need to feast on healthy foods from the earth that have not been invaded by chemicals. Our minds need to feast on all that is filled with “the good, the true, and the beautiful” and not invaded by fear and negativity.
Trust your gut, use your mind, and treasure that mystery we call LOVE.