Why do most of us resist asking for expert help?
It seems there are certain areas of life where we believe we “should” be able to figure things out by ourselves. And we feel some shame about even needing help. As a life coach myself, I have seen this with many folks.
Let’s admit it. It takes courage to ask for help. But like the day when you step on the scales and know that you need help …
“that day” came when I admitted to myself that I needed to hire a professional organizer! Until then I had reasoned that my home is clean, neat, and generally organized. Further, I am certainly smart enough to clean my kitchen/pantry closet. But I finally admitted that I had wasted lots of time arranging and rearranging it.
Shucks. Why not get some help?
Lucky for me, I knew an excellent professional organizer with great coaching skills too.
My friend, Robin, is a stay-at-home mom with a master’s degree in education and a sizable list of talents who decided to start her own business.
I have been amazed at her work and actually recommended her expertise to others. But Truthfully, until that day, it never occurred to me that I might need her expertise. But My closet was quite frankly embarrassing. It looked like an explosion in a feather factory. Usually when pain is greater than our pride we seek help.
But I must admit that I was greatly inspired by the “before and after” pictures Robin posted in her blogs. It must have sunk into my subconscious mind.
So when she arrived with her well organized bags, I sucked in my pride and opened the closet door. She calmly asked me a couple of practical goal oriented questions, took the before pictures and got straight to work. The whole experience was informative, fun and amazing. There was a huge difference between knowing she is good at her craft and experiencing it for myself.
I experienced an expert at work!
Here is what I learned:
* A professional organizer coach must listen carefully and respectfully
*Pertinent and instructive questions helped me rate things as to their usefulness, frequency of need for them, and attachments to them as well as other miscellaneous helpful observations and pointers
*All was done with absolutely no judgment and with kindness, curiosity, and enthusiasm
*My wishes were top priority and profoundly respected
* I learned things about myself. She noticed, for example, that I am right handed and was putting things I rarely used on the right side, which would work better for things I use frequently. Brilliant.
*More space means easier accessibility and opens up emotional spaciousness as well. Amazing.
We worked steadily for nearly two hours. ( I thought it would take an hour, tops.)
RESULTS:
When it was done, I felt something I do not ever remember feeling with such intense awareness. Or at least not from a cleaning experience. I felt peace. Yes, peace. I swear she sprinkled magic dust in there because every time I open the door nothing but peace fills the air.
I also learned that experience is truly the doorway to learning. And I am totally taken with this experience.
Hiring an organizational expert is similar to hiring other professional coaches or mentors.
Tips for your first venture in hiring a professional in most any area of coaching or mentoring:
*start with a specific and small project (or area of challenge)
*Be totally transparent about what you need and want to have happen
*By starting with something small and manageable . . .
~you have a chance to see if you and the professional expert are a good match
~you are likely to experience some immediate results.
~you can budget your time and money more easily
~you can quickly be re-energized through success
~you will learn to celebrate small “wins” and reach for more
One thing I loved is that Robin fully engaged me in the process so I could learn by doing.
Do you want to see the before and after pictures of my closet?
You can see them here. I am so delighted that I asked for help. Just think, for the price of a dinner or a dinner and a movie that we would spend gratefully for self-care, a small project like mine lasts a lot longer than the dinner!
I am a convert now!
I don’t claim to fully understand how clearing out clutter in our surroundings can make so much difference in our inner world. But it does. It has something to do with energy drain. Clutter draws energy from us even though we aren’t conscious of it.
If my storage containers could sing, they would be singing, “Amazing space . . . I once was lost but now am found….”
To be honest, this experience did generate some spiritual contemplation. It reminded me of a peace that filters through our cluttered brains when in moments of stillness we open up spaces between our thoughts. We have a lot of brain clutter that leaves little space for peace of heart and mind.
And I call that a God-space.
Having a clutter free closet opened my mind to the peace that comes with clutter free thinking.
When we reduce clutter in the inner closet of our minds we open up amazing space that reveals amazing Grace.
Now I can whisper to myself in any given moment….”Create amazing space, notice amazing Grace.”