Some days (weeks?) our confidence wanes or takes a drastic drop!
This week’s Wednesday Wisdom looks at why it is important to understand this . . . And how to feel better.
It is important because . . .
Self-Awareness Leads to Understanding Mind-Behavior Connections
For some, a drop in confidence levels is more frequent than for others and there are numerous reasons for that, of course. But most people experience a loss of confidence from time to time. Parents are especially prone to this when they feel helpless or frustrated with things in the home.
For clarity . . . by a loss of confidence (in ourselves or others), I am not talking about major depression or panic attacks or pervasive anxiety. I am talking about something very common. But it can be subtle and, like all things that affect human behavior, it is worth noting.
Do you notice any difference in how you act when you suddenly feel a drop in your confidence levels? How do you act differently toward your children or your spouse? How do you feel about your job or your life when you lose confidence in either yourself or someone else?
A drop in confidence is like a sudden drop in blood pressure or blood sugar levels. It robs your energy. Your personal equilibrium is slightly off balance, making it easier to get discouraged, even defensive.
A lack in confidence can make you feel disconnected and powerless. And it is important to note that relationships are built on feeling connected or attuned to one’s self and others!
So the value of self-awareness (not self-condemnation) is to use it as a tool to help us search for ways to feel better. When we feel better, we act better! And we become more effective leaders and builders of connected and power-generating as opposed to power-depleting relationships.
Most of the time, when our children are misbehaving they are really feeling disconnected from us and from their own feelings. This week I have been enjoying re-reading Parenting From the Inside Out : How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive by Dr. Daniel Siegel, M.D. and Mary Hartzell, M. Ed. You can find it on the Resources Page and order it from Amazon there if you wish. It is excellent for understanding mind and behavior development.
So . . . What Might Help Us Feel Better?
Each person will answer that differently but here are three very simple (uncomplicated) ways that Solomon suggested I share with you today . . . I tried them this week and they helped a lot!
Three Things That Can Help Us Feel Better . . .
Keep it Kind!
When you are thinking about yourself, your kids or the world … keep it kind. Ask yourself, “is this a kind, connected thought that is filled with productive, problem-solving energy? Or is a thought that leaves me feeling powerless, grumpy, defensive, or just plain ineffective?
Laugh!
We know in our hearts how important it is to laugh (and play). Even neuropsychologists have discovered that laughter or humor interrupts negative energy and opens the door for creativity. Again, not everyone likes to laugh but everyone does find humor in their own way. So go for it! I laughed so much the other night with a friend that it completely re-energized me. I was reminded why it is often called the “inner jog!”
Fall Into Faith!
Yes, we all stumble and fall. So, Solomon’s wooly wisdom says … Go ahead. Fall. It is okay because you have a trustworthy shepherd somewhere. It might be your parents, your spouse, your minister, rabbi, or priest. And it can always be your very own Divine Shepherd. If you practice falling into faith, you will restore your trust in what is possible for you. Kind of like gymnasts who fall into the safety nets and learn what is possible to do by getting up and doing it again…and again.
So let’s laugh and play …. we were designed to do so! Let,s learn and keep tuned-up and tuned-in to others, remembering that connection and personal power are basic human needs.
Happy Wednesday!
Playing in the snowy pastures,
Margie and Solomon 
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