We humans have what I am calling today, “messy moods.” It is neither scientific nor technically correct terminology, but I like the sound of it and it describes what most of us can relate to.
Just when we think we have things well planned and we proudly claim our ability to be patient, kind, organized, successful, competent or whatever we think is good, something seemingly little can mess us all up inside by messing with our brain. It might just be a passing comment or a serious look cast our way. Who knows? And it can start an avalanche of thoughts that take us places we do not want to go! We have all “been there” and some of us too often.
So what can we do with our “messy moods?”
1. Step One: Acknowledge we have them and they start with negative thoughts.
Our moods (transient states) at the very least are like messy closets. I think of it as a brain mess created by stuffing too many conflicting thoughts in one space. And our brain is a voracious consumer of conflict.
At their very worst, our thoughts propel us into darkness where we easily lose sight of our inner wisdom (which is what Solomon wants us to see, hear, taste, feel). We get pulled toward and prone to fall into the rabbit hole of discouragement or despair. You see, our brain can be both an ally and a dictator. Ouch. The problem is we are so used to it that we often don’t realize the depth of that contrast – ally or dictator. Let’s claim it as our ally. How?…..
2. Step Two: Seek to transform rather than control our minds.
Honestly, I don’t think we can manage moods but we can learn how to regulate our responses by changing our thinking. We try to teach that to our squabbling children when we say, “Just stay away from him…keep your hands to yourself…..mind your own business….ignore her and she will stop bugging you….” It rarely works for them. At least not for long. It works even less on our inner conflict-producing brain battles!
There is hope, however. Neuro-scientists tell us when we practice changing our mental patterns we actually can replace our old brain patterns with new ones. In other words with practice we can rewire our brains. It also takes acknowledging we need transformation! Not only scientists, but inspired wisdom of the Bible reminds us repeatedly that we are renewed by transforming our minds.
TWO SIMPLE STRATEGIES FOR TRANS-FORMING OUR MINDS
There are, of course, books upon books written about this topic. This week I have been re-reading, Mindsight: The New Science of Personal Transformation
But Solomon wants me to keep it light. So here are two simple and rather fun ideas:
1. Play it forward! No, that is not a typo.
It is Wednesday, and part of what WW (Wednesday Wisdom) is all about is to improve ourselves, playfully!
When a dear friend sent me the above picture of Solomon wearing my glasses, it was a playful moment in a stressful day. I laughed out loud and wondered how she took the picture without me knowing! It changed the mood of the moment like magic!
You simply cannot laugh and feel negative at the same time. You brain chemistry literally changes the formation of your thoughts.
2. Exchange the negative thought (e.g. condemnation) for another genre of thinking (e.g. gratitude):
That is probably the most helpful strategy I can share with you this week. And it sounds so simple that you are likely to say “Ho-hum.”
Solomon says it is wise to exchange the thoughts (and moods) you don’t want for what you do want! It is a little like exchanging a sweater that was given you or you mistakenly bought that does not suit you well. A simple place to start is exchanging criticism for compassion and negative (grumbling, self-pity, irritability etc.) for gratitude.
Simple, I know. Repeated often. Still worth remembering. Notice what you are thinking! The sooner, the better.
So let’s play with trans-forming our minds in the pastures of progress and grins and giggles with Solomon.
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