Solomon’s message this morning is very simple. You plus me makes we.
As you can see he is having a father-son talk with our newest addition to The Shared Journey, SJ (Solomon Junior).
Such a simple phrase. Yet, unspeakably profound.
What is parenting? Parenting (as has often been said) is not about what we do.
It is about who we are in the here and now of life. That is why we must practice self-awareness and seek wisdom at every stage of the way.
Parenting is all about relationship. That is the sacred “we.”
This is why Solomon wants us to be intentional about how we care for ourselves so that we can be our best selves and be open to learning. As for him, he also is sending SJ to Sunday School with me so he can learn from other voices than his. Then together they share the love of learning and together they grow wiser. And my little class enjoys SJ too!
There is another common phrase about the lasting “we-ness” of the relationship….
“Once a parent, always a parent.”
Ask any older parent and they will tell you how true that is. Yesterday, another mom and I were sitting in our place of “regular” chats at McDonalds over a cup-of-something to drink. Inevitably the conversation comes around to asking each other for an update on our children. Lately we have had a lot to share. Our sons have moved away and their wives are looking for work and staying behind at their secure jobs here until finding work in the state where their husbands are starting new jobs. On top of that, both of us adore our daughter-in-laws and both of them had the flu a few weeks ago and now have shingles! No, they do not know each other or live near each other or work in the same place!! And our hearts have ached for our children’s struggles.
I have been thinking about this for all parents of all time. And since it is the time of Lent for Christian believers, I have been thinking about what it must have been like to be the mother (in particular) of Jesus. Now whether or not you are of the Christian persuasion, we all know what happened to Jesus. And no mother or father would want to watch their son die that way….or any way.
The parenting journey is truly a journey of relationship building. It is not about making sure our kids are perfect. It is about being responsible leaders and teachers because we are the older, but it is more about being who we are designed to be and allowing them to grow into their own design, which often is very different from us even when they are genetically related.
Truthfully, this could be a long blog. But today, I am simply reflecting about the crux of parenting is about building a lasting relationship. I used to say to myself when my kids were teens and made poor choices, “Remember the incidents will come and go but the relationship is forever.” And that self imposed mantra helped me a lot.
Personally, I have discovered that no relationship is perfect, that all relationships go through ages and stages that can be topsy turvy for awhile, and that there is no one right way. But there truly are lasting principles to guide us.
But my big discovery and hope is built on a lasting and faithful relationship with a loving and faithful God who is ultimately our source of peace when peace can be found nowhere else, and joy that is not based on anything except the profound knowledge of being truly loved. No matter what stage of parenting we are in, or what stage of life we are in, it boils down to the fact that the ultimate “you plus me makes the we” in our lives is the relationship we develop with God. And being a parent with profound love for our kids may help us understand a tiny bit of God’s profound unfailing love for us. No matter what.
It is the longing of our hearts to acknowledge the shepherd of our souls. Solomon says so.
Have fun looking at each other and your children with the knowledge you are loved.
Trust in that and play in the pastures with joy!
