Counterculture Concepts, Perhaps?

Greetings TSJ Peeps,

Wherever this finds you today it is with a bit of a sigh in my heart that I write about learning to sit with one another and wait out the atoms of life with each other on our shared journeys. Sitting and waiting may be counterculture for most of us!

I say that because I am learning about not being able to skip over “the now.”

In my absence, Solomon has been speaking gently to SJ and Lovey about such things. They are getting very anxious for “Ms. Margie to come home.” And SJ really misses how things were.

Solomon says SJ’s big lesson this week is to learn how to simply “sit with” TSJ peeps when they are unhappy for whatever reason. He says SJ and Lovey can practice on Ms. Margie when she gets back.

Of course since Lovey is a lamb she is content to live in the now. So she finds it easy to just sit with SJ while he fusses and frets.  She is just glad he is there. “Exactly,” Solomon says. . . .”As it should be with all peeps and sheep.”

But with storms of the heart and soul we grow impatient.

And simply sitting with each other and not fixing each other can feel so unhelpful and unproductive. As a culture we are not that good at it.  We are tempted to run from or cover up the messy stuff. And we are uncomfortable with feeling helpless.

We also want people to be winners, victors, purposeful, active, and heroes. Truthfully when they ache it mirrors our own inner struggles even when we do not realize it at the moment.

Empathy and compassion are gifts from God.  Like most of God’s gifts, however, we are not always conscious of how to use them wisely .

Gradually we learn speaking or acting too quickly is like picking fruit too soon. We can miss the sweetness of the fruit of lessons learned when allowed to ripen on the vine naturally.

As peeps, our Vine is the Unseen Shepherd … always alive and ready to nourish us from the roots upward and outward.

I am learning this the hard way. Or let me say more accurately, I am in process. My learning is now through personal experiences related to loss and grief. Losing Tom’s physical presence is  both the ache of my heart and of our family and friends, of course.

But experience is our best teacher and brings the highest form of learning we can achieve.  Good teachers and parents know that and try to capture “teachable moments.”

None of us know exactly how to help another.  We want to. And we want to help ourselves even more! That means we sometimes get impatient and just wish it would go away quickly.  Or even worse, we condemn ourselves and  believe if we were stronger  or had more faith etc. we could bypass the process. The ache.

In truth we try to skip over the now.  Life never works that way.

We end up learning  to surrender to the now.

And we do not like the word surrender. Not when it is about us.

I think part of our problem with that word is we see it as giving in and/or giving up. Neither is fully accurate.

Ancient wisdom tells us that it is only in surrendering that we are renewed. It is that paradox of life that includes dying to be born. Or leaving behind what was to enter into a new life, like the baby leaving the womb.

We like all troubles to be conquerable, good things to come immediately, and all things to look good for others to see. We don’t like people to act like victims. So we cover up our own inner doubts, fears of inadequacy, loneliness, spiritual searching, and mistakes. And as far as I know, all peeps do this.  But in so doing we risk misplacing an important piece of ourselves.

It often takes courage to face each “now” experience. Only by facing it do we become whole.

Solomon keeps saying very piece of our life is essential and meaningful.

This week I have spent time in Freeport, TX with my older brother and his wife who generously made this possible for me. We are right on the Gulf of Mexico in a place that is otherwise pretty desolate. Ideal (one would imagine) to escape the snow and frigid temperatures others are in.

And it is a perfect place where one can find peace from distractions and search one’s soul.

On the other hand, the weather has been cold, wet, and unpleasant. The ocean waves, have roared.  The skies have been gray and even dark at times.  The sun decided to hide from view for a time. The wind ripped through clothing to sting your skin. 

We have been mostly inside. Disappointing. But all needs are met!

Still, this very much reveals the truth of “sitting with” one’s emotions and “waiting out” the storms of life all made easier we have discovered by . . .

. . . being with loving people who willingly and patiently wait it out with you, sharing the journey to wholeness….

Every moment, Solomon tells us is rich with paradox and mystery.

Happy Wednesday wherever you are. Solomon is right to remind us to watch for miracle moments. We just may need magnifying lenses to see them!.

Margie