Happy Wednesday, TSJ Peeps!
Do you ever ask yourself the question about why you say, do, or think things that you do not approve of in general or don’t like about yourself when you do them?
Sometimes it is things that need to change for the sake of others’ well being, but perhaps even more frequently it is something we really want to change so we feel better, healthier and happier!
Yet self-sabbotage seems to be the name of our inner game.
I honestly think this question is as old as humanity. And there are many ways to look at this. Thus, Solomon has his glasses on to remind us of that simple fact.
Today I want to introduce you to one possible answer to this ageless question and a couple of strategies to help you move forward.
One explanation is our brain. Many psychologists have referred to the brain and nervous system as an Error Detection System. It is our inner guidance system. It is wise to understand its power to either enhance or undermine our well being.
The problem? It can get stuck in an old program. For example, if you have always or repeatedly heard how ugly, fat, stupid, lazy etc. you are, when someone says you are beautiful, smart or resourceful you will not believe it. The brain says, “error, error…” And your self talk goes something like this, “They are just saying that. They don’t know how dumb I really am. They just want me to feel good.”
The detected error ( something that doesn’t match what the brain has heard before) will block you from receiving the compliment. It tries to keep you from being let down or hurt. Notice if you really try hard to truly receive the compliment the brain will step up its warning and you might hear the inner critic say, “Pride comes before fall or don’t get inflated opinions of yourself or who do you think you are?”
I confess only recently have I awakened to both the beauty and the beast of that system and realized the importance of understanding it in order to change habituated behaviors that do not serve us well.
I imagine that you, like me, have all kinds of beliefs about yourself that are misguided. And such beliefs are so embedded in the brain’s neuro-circuitry they remain unconscious.
The truth is . . . all of us want and need to change some area of our thinking, feeling, or behaving. It may be as simple as the habituated pattern of procrastination. Most of us can relate to that.
What are some things you would like to change?
My letter blog today is to share with you that I am in full-out commitment as a life coach to update my brain’s software – one small step at a time. I am excited to share the process with you and help you also to reach down deep and find the dreams waiting for you to breathe life into them. You have them because they are your spirit self that is bigger than you can imagine. Please remember they do not have to be big dreams that roar like lions. They can be small enough to hold in your hand like a puppy. They can be practical or they can be magical. They can be spiritual, scientific, academic, artistic. It matters not.
What matters? You! Your past. Your present. Your future.
So my personal desire is not only to better understand the mechanisms of habituated patterns programmed in our brains but also explore strategies to help you create an updated or revised pattern of thinking that can help you have more joy and peace and be less fractured and more fulfilled.
I believe this is a path to discovering wholeness and well being. We need education and inspiration to become what our hearts and minds often long for but fall short of … repeatedly.
Finally, here are some ideas to ponder and actions to take!
* We need our Error Detection System for survival. but don’t believe everything your brain tells you about yourself.
*One strategy to generate change is a practice of mindfulness or awareness. Without awareness we will not change. We will behave and react automatically -from our default assumptions and beliefs.
~Sometimes it helps me to think of mindfulness as a relaxed way of simply noticing or observing without analyzing or casting judgments on self or projecting blame on others.
Every so often during the day check in with yourself and notice how you are feeling both in your body and in your emotions. Practice a gentle inquiry, “I wonder why my mood just shifted. I wonder why my jaw hurts.”
One neuropsychologist I heard says… after noticing these things “‘yawn, stretch and relax.” Try it! It is simple and effective.
~Noticing is a gift! It is the key to opening the doors of your mind for change!
The best place to start is notice two things:
a) shifts in your mood and
b) what your body is feeling. Our body is a personal and public message board for what is going on in the board room of our minds.
Welcome to becoming more mindful of the ways that our brains work. There is so much to learn and so much hope as we probe our physical, mental, and spiritual well being.
Joining you on the path to wholeness!
Margie
PS….I know. Your Error Detection machine is saying….what? No snow? You are right …this is a picture from our old headquarters. 🙂
