Good Morning, TSJ “Peeps,”
Since Father’s Day is Sunday, our TSJ wise old Solomon has been brought to a chair right next to me to inspire us to think straight about important things. Like what really matters. What lasts a lifetime and beyond.
Since Tom has gone to greener pastures my perspective on lots of things has changed and keeps on doing so. Part of it, I believe, is the aging process. I know I am not alone in this, but one of my worst fears for my life was the possibility of him changing scenery before I did. I knew it would be hard. Very hard. And it was. Ask anyone who has had a wonderful husband that dies first. Ask anyone who has lost a deeply loved wife and they will tell you the same. That is- if they can even get the words out.
But also ask anyone who has had a father they really love and respect who is no longer able to be physically present to comfort you, to make you laugh, and to tell you stories about their own fathers. On special days like Mother’s Day and Father’s Day human emotions range broadly depending on life experiences.
One thing for sure, however, is their influence on our lives lasts as long as we live. So, it is a very good time for us to reflect on the priceless roles they play in our lives and the indelible mark they leave in our hearts. And if your father is living, it is a great reminder to find ways that fit your circumstances to let him know how much they mean to you. Love is forever and love has many flavors and colors. Just as do our fathers. And all who are like a father to us.
From my view at this stage in life, I watch the wake left behind by Tom in the lives of our children. He was a stepdad to my two sons. And he was beloved by his two children, a son and a daughter. And as a combined family they all call him “pops.”
And that lasts forever. It is respect and affection.
I watch how our children and their spouses remember him fondly. As they reflect on pops’ humor, stories, upbeat perspective on life, often with misty eyes and that wistful stare of memory.
And that lasts forever. It is a forever love.
We all remember things that were important to him like family, church, responsibility, faithfulness and of course his Boy Scout pledges of doing good deeds and exercising control of the tongue when you didn’t have something good to say. Those values have been lived and instilled in our sons and daughter.
And that lasts forever. It is a foundation for life.
Watching our son-in-law, Dan, with his family always touches my heart. He loved pops like his own. He is genuine, full of love of life and pride for his kids. He is faithful and good to his wife and family. He is a volunteer fireman (like Tom) and able to be a strong man that is willing to do mundane things. He admires Amy with a deep respect and love that a good man shows his wife. (He is proud that she is so much like her dad.) All of these qualities are a lot like his beloved pops. A father – in-law that is treasured.
And that lasts forever. It is fatherhood and its legacy.
We all know it is love that lasts forever. But we forget.
Good deeds, however small we think they are. Laughter that rings in our memories. Attitudes that hover when we have challenges. All of those things and more create a lifetime of memories and a full heart.
Father’s Day is more than a Hallmark opportunity to ponder these things. It is a time to cherish the here-and-now moments for some and the lingering memories for others.
Solomon reminds us that as we reflect and reclaim life without some of our fathers’ feet under the table or their hands flipping Father’s day meat on the grill, we can truly say we know more about the permanence of what really matters. Grief brings with it touching realities that we must learn from. The greatest gift it can offer us is the gift of memory and perspective.
Love is not always smooth and fluffy. It is tough and ragged at times. Solomon keeps reminding us of that here at TSJ.
And of course, Solomon wants to remind us that the “faith of our fathers” (as one song puts it), has shaped our nation forever. It is helpful to be grateful for their faith and endurance. My own father passed that down to us five children and Tom was an example of living from faith in God as well. We all have learned gratitude from our fathers that our Chief Shepherd is keeping an eye on the sheep of His pastures, so we can celebrate love and life and grieve at the same time.
It is love in all its forms that lingers and satisfies our deepest longing for belonging. I believe that longing is for a walk with our Divine Father from here to “the other side.”
Solomon misses “Mr. Tom” too but is very proud of us for discovering that life is never empty when we fill it with love. And TSJ headquarters has been blessed with such love.
Margie
