Dear TSJ Friends,
Before the boys and their new best friend (Sigmund) tell on me, I have a confession. We had an experience this morning they think is worth sharing. I burnt the toast. I mean, really burnt the toast.
Solomon sees Great Wisdom in most experiences. Solomon Junior (SJ) sees excitement and Sigmund (of course – since he thinks he is Freud) sees the psychological aspects of life events.
What a trio to keep us honest here at TSJ headquarters! Now that The Boys (Solomon and SJ) have discovered the expertise and friendship of Sigmund, I must tell you nothing goes unexamined – be it psychological or heart or developmental perspectives!
Here is our quick Wednesday Story:
It is true that I had a rather worrisome few moments here at TSJ headquarters. When I say I burnt the toast, I mean it is charred. And it happened in my toaster oven. Now, before you get overly concerned about my mental state, let me explain. I put the thin pieces of bread in the toaster oven. I set the timer on, the same as always. And I absolutely did not forget it was in the oven! That is the most fortunate part of the story right there.
But I did go in another room to do something quickly while listening for the ding to tell me it was toasted. I heard no ding but came out to check it and the toast in the toaster oven was in flames.
If the finishing ding went off I did not hear it but it was still ticking away, so I think I put it on the wrong setting for very thin bread. Anyhow, I unplugged it immediately and left the toaster oven door closed so as not to bring in a rush of air. (The flames were significant in there.)
I opened all windows and doors possible and turned on the fans. Of course the fire alarm went off and I had to grab a mop handle to turn it off because the ceilings are so high. I did burn by left thumb in one place where I had quickly moved the toaster oven (closed) out from under the upper cupboards so heat would not sear the paint. Yes, the flame died and all was well. Who wanted toast anyway?
I treated my burn and continued to work. As I settled in the office to share things on my mind with you, our trembling “trio” just looked at me as if I was supposed to say something.
Finally, Solomon who is always finding his way into my heart with his acceptance and wisdom about God’s Love and grace (which I think means all kinds of blessings like forgiveness, understanding and redemption etc.), – just looked at me as if to say, “Well, why not tell the peeps today’s real story?”
Sigmund did what psychologists do and sat quietly with that quietly spoken “hmmm” and head nod that says “Can you say more about that?” And SJ was happy something exciting happened around here and watched like a curious child.
How do you like all of this for an example of projection? Obviously, they are stuffed creatures. According to a psychological perspective, we humans tend to project our own thoughts or often hidden aspects of ourselves onto things or people outside of ourselves. This is closely related to making assumptions about what others think when they may not think that at all.
Well, this morning I had been pondering about a common form of suffering that stems from our often unacknowledged fear of imperfection and/or rejection. For many of us, if not most of us, the largest part of inner suffering on a daily basis is from not being able to meet our expectations for ourselves and/or disappointment that others do not meet our expectations for them.
Do you find this true too?
So, yes, I burnt the toast. While it was not from forgetting it was in the toaster, it still was a mistake to walk away at all. I quietly and quickly took care of everything. And yes, there were consequences. There always are. My house smells like smoke. I have a small burn on my thumb. It took more time to correct the problem than it would have to prevent it.
But there are real lessons here too. Beyond the obvious, it actually did challenge me to forgive myself for a foolish choice, notice that I handled it well, be grateful for grace that saved my house from a fire, and accept the reminder that trying to do too many things comes with a price. Always. It might be a small price and it could be a larger price…. loss of sleep, money, health and happiness.
So, when you find yourself being stretched beyond what is wise, it is time for reflection and self-honesty and embracing the truth that we cannot do all things perfectly. What we can do is face our fear of failure. We often stuff such fears and do not realize how they control us.
But it is also true the unconscious is equally filled with great things in ourselves we tend to deny. We do know how to have peace, compassion, forgiveness and wisdom. We do have love to project into and heal our world.
We all project both our inner unconscious struggles and our unconscious gifts into the outer world. The happy trio here at TSJ are here to help us face our failures – like the flames, burnt toast and my misjudgment – and celebrate our inner strengths and talents too!
In the end, I just burnt the toast but kindled a fire of determination in my heart to always reach for the next level of letting go of assumptions and expectations and embrace the journey no matter how many mistakes I make. Solomon was most pleased.
Margie
