Hello dear TSJ Peeps!
Yes, I am late. A full day late. And it is not Solomn’s fault you did not see his weekly smile yesterday. You see, I have been highly preoccupied! And Solomon persuaded me that “Thursday might be a good day to show up as TSJ peeps might by thirsty for a bit of his wisdom. So think of it as thirsty Thursday!” Solomon has his way of keeping me going when I stumble. I chuckled.
By now most of you know that “Mr. John” and I got married in a candlelight service at our church the night after Thanksgiving. It was wonderful and memorable for us. Many of you were there either physically or in spirit. Thank you.
John and I have Solomon’s complete approval. And we are happy.
But I must admit that even a happy event like getting married brings with it some adjustments. And I am discovering it is almost like giving birth or preparing for adoption. You spend months filled with preparation joys and plans. Then the event happens and celebration begins. There are oohs and aahs. There are cards and gifts, family and friend visits. There is love overflowing.
Then… well… inevitably comes a fuller realization of the number of things that are changed forever. The first being the loss of independence (sleep, eating what you want, talking with friends whenever, going out with your spouse etc.) followed by the realization of responsibility you have taken on for caring for another being.
But while marriage in your seventies (that is us) is not as difficult in most ways as bringing a child into your home, there is truth to the fact that major life changes bring with them psychological, physical and spiritual adjustment challenges. And combining two households and already full schedules is presenting some challenges here at TSJ headquarters. Sweet ones, but none-the-less real.
Solomon has worked hard on me since yesterday.
Yesterday morning John and I came into the office for meditation time. The sun was shining and revealed some dust along the edges of my area rug. Hmm. So much for meditation, I am embarrassed to say. The schedule was tight. And I had just cleaned thoroughly the night before. Had I missed that much dust in my cleaning?
I pointed it out to John. We lifted the rug. And discovered the source.
The rug is very old but I like it and it has been in the TSJ office for years. Perhaps you have guessed it. The backing on this rug is coming off and there were piles of rug particles that we had no idea were collecting under the rug. Especially where my office chair constantly moves across it. Friction does create wear and tear sometimes.
It reached a point that some of it was showing up in the room.
No, I had not “swept the dirt under the carpet!” But it struck me that it took sunlight to reveal that something was amiss and it took lifting the carpet to discover the problem. Ignoring it would not have solved the problem.
Last night – in the night of course – it hit me that I was feeling overwhelmed – a little “off,” and it puzzled me since John and I have been so very happy together. I decided not to ignore the feeling and just watch where my thoughts were taking me. And like my old rug, I discovered I am wearing down. What wears me down is my tendency to fret about things. When I am not keeping up with my “shoulds” I get discouraged and many disquieting thoughts pile up. They don’t show up right away. But they pile up and tend to leak out around the edges of my behavior like the dirt around the edge of the rug. I forget things. I get testy about ridiculously small things. I get easily discouraged. I worry. I forget to trust the Shepherd.
The problem was straightforward with my rug dust. John and I lifted the rug and vacuumed the floor and the back of the rug thoroughly. We will have to do that more faithfully now that we see it needs it. The rug itself is still strong and just right for this office. It needs some TLC (tender loving care) here at TSJ (The Shared Journey).
When I shared my heart with John this morning, (after keeping myself awake in the night figuring out how we were going to “do this or that,” ) he kindly listened and reminded me that first we must talk with God about things and then we will get through them step by step together. One day at a time. One challenge at a time. Just like cleaning under the old rug.
I think he had been spending time with Solomon, don’t you? He is bringing TLC to TSJ headquarters quietly and regularly.
Solomon always reminds us of God’s Love for all and God’s forever Presence in the nitty gritty parts of our lives.
So may this day,Thursday, bring you peace. May you be careful not to shove things that need to be tended to “under the rug” but lift the rug of our hearts and minds and show a coach, minister, therapist and the Great Shepherd your wounds. Every so often. Just because – like my old rug – we need it. That is what coaches, ministers, trustworthy people are for and TSJ is the place where our journeys intersect.
