Hello TSJ Peeps!
It is that time of week again – when here at TSJ we share short stories 
inspired by living the realities of Planet Earth.
Solomon, SJ and even Sigmund encourage us to seek help from each other as we learn from failures, foibles and fractures in life to be courageous and wise on our path to wholeness.
Two things I wish to discuss today:
- An update on our TSJ blogsite.
- This week’s stories about brokenness.
First, our TSJ friend, Lucille, is working on updating our blog site to reflect our commitment to seeking courage and wisdom as we travel with our Chief Shepherd on the path to wholeness. Wholeness. Is wholeness a form of completeness? Even holiness? Whatever wholeness is, we want it, don’t we?
So the updated website tagline, “Finding Courage and Wisdom on the Path to Wholeness,” will reflect our mission at TSJ and my vision as a life coach.
Courage and wisdom are desperately needed these days to seek spiritual, psychological and physical wholeness.
On some level we all value wholeness. We realize most of our inner pain and as well as physical pain comes from one degree or another of brokenness. Be it a hairline fracture or a gushing wound or a deeply broken heart, we hurt when we are not whole.
Sometimes a hairline fracture on a bone is also called a stress fracture. So, could life stressors cause us to be fractured psychologically, socially and spiritually? Could even a small crack in our communication and understanding of each other in a relationship be considered a small but painful fracture?
Sometimes a fracture is difficult to diagnose as it does not show up on tests. And with many of them it is difficult (if not impossible) to determine the underlying cause.
So this past week I have given this topic some thought. You see, one of my sons, Joe, has a hairline fracture of his skull. For some reason (unexplainable at this point), he blacked out while getting some Advil to relieve pain from a severe muscle cramp. He apparently landed flat on his back. As you know, a skull fracture suggests a significant blow to the head. It clearly was a tough fall. He is in pain with a linear fracture and a concussion and is recovering at his home in Texas. His treatment is rest, pain management and care not to overdue and add stress to a body trying to heal itself.
All forms of brokenness cause pain to some degree. Most treatment involves seeking an underlying cause and being careful not to aggravate the wound. That is as true for psychological and spiritual forms of brokenness as for physical fractures.
Fortunately, most physical breaks can show up on various medical scans. But Solomon says there are hairline fractures that require a God lens to see and to treat.
Yes, there are fractures of our spirit. Fractures of our psyche. Fractures in relationships. Fractured hearts and broken dreams.
Along with this new awareness of our vulnerability to being broken or fractured, I have been on edge a bit this week, bringing out my own long standing tendency to worry and be anxious. This does not bring out the best in me.
So, TSJ headquarters has had a wounded son and a worried mom. Solomon is definitely on overtime duty right now.
Now I must share with you that I do believe when it comes to psychological and spiritual fractures the most common underlying cause is our thoughts.
Repeated thought patterns get revealed in our words and behavior.
Truthfully, as humans we are all broken. We want full control and believe we can manipulate ourselves, our environments and each other to make everything okay. But Solomon reminds us, there are cracks in our thought system. Our egos deceive us. We are not in control. Only Chief Shepherd is in control.
Solomon and SJ would tell you John and I have enjoyed wedded bliss. But we are old enough to know that when stress comes there are sometimes “stress fractures” that pop up in relationships (just like in our bones). We push and we pull. We try to feel understood. To be right. To connect. To feel whole. To have it our way. Have you known pain from a gap in your communication at times?
Here is what happened to us. I am relational, verbal, hyper vigilant to criticism, self accusatory and self-reflective ad nauseum. John is stoic, scientific, logical, methodical, mathematical, and systematic in how he dissects and interprets interpersonal communication. He is precise. I am poetic, mystical, dreamy, creative. Imprecise. Wordy. You get the picture. The things that trigger reactions are different for each of us.
Together our hearts usually dance superbly and our spirits sore lightly. But there are the falls from bliss. The stress fractures. And usually it is requires both parties to share their hearts and minds and respectfully listen to each other. We practiced that this week.
Sunday evening we went to service of prayer and chants. We slid into our seats quietly as everyone does in the candlelit church. Solomon was there in my heart. I had a moment of awareness of what had caused me to be testy. I leaned toward this kind man (John) and he leaned in to listen as I whispered in his ear, “I love you and I forgive you for not being just like me.” We both quietly giggled and felt the warmth of forgiveness and the embrace of fingers gently knitted together in the Presence of God. Healed and happy.
Where is your wound? May you have the courage to be honest and the wisdom to be forgiving. Hairline fractures can and do heal.
Solomon is smiling again. Smugly.
