Dear TSJ Reader,
Today’s tidbit of wisdom comes from a personal experience which has brought me to a new level of peace about fully claiming God’s forgiveness when I misstep.
It all started on Sunday morning when I went to church. In the part of the service where we confess our sins 
and hear words of forgiveness we read a verse from Isaiah that deeply affected me . . . unexpectedly, almost mysteriously and definitely powerfully. (More on this in a moment…. )
There can be power in words. Of course, each of us reacts differently according to our perspectives and need at the time. Have you ever heard a phrase or word that literally grabbed you by surprise and inspired you?
This time mine had to do with the fact that I have struggled forever with being overly concerned about all of my “sins.” (This is in spite of believing in God’s love and forgiveness!) It never ceases to amaze me, though, on how great the distance can be between mental knowing and heart knowing.
Whenever I hear any discussions about sin and how it displeases God it casts long shadows across my heart and mind. It leaves me unsettled and often weepy. I have a hard time forgiving myself whenever I disappoint anyone, let alone God!
I think it is easy to confuse guilt and shame because we all speak so easily about how guilty we constantly feel about this or that. Notice how often you hear or say, “I feel so guilty…!”
So today I want to encourage all of us who carry around unnecessary guilt to Wilt that Guilt!
Last week I talked about how guilt wilts us; it deprives us of good self-care, renewal and an ability to shine.
This week I am turning the words around and recommending that we learn how to wilt the guilt!
Basic answer ….After you have recognized having said or done something amiss and made amends with others, yourself and God, do not water or feed the guilt. That is when you wilt the guilt and claim your ticket to freedom.
The ticket to freedom is of course, forgiveness.
One of the most nagging and pernicious problems that I confront nearly daily as a mentor, as a life coach, as a woman and a mom myself is that of guilt. I touched on that last week. (Parents especially are prone to perpetual guilt.) So here are today’s reminders of things we already know but easily forget.
The Purpose of Guilt .
Guilt’s only mission is to direct our attention to correction. That kind of guilt is instructive.
When we actually say or do something unkind, truly sinful or morally wrong a feeling of guilt is like a flashing red light. It means to immediately put regret into gear.
Regret’s mission is to signal a need for change. It also opens a door for reconciliation.
Regret leads to correcting our actions and to reconciliation (when possible) which then leads to …. the gift of gifts ……forgiveness.
And forgiveness leads to freedom of soul and mind to live life with peace and joy.
Got it? From wrong-doing to guilt to regret to reconciliation to forgiveness to freedom!
Why then do so many of us suffer from low lying clouds of guilt?
The Ache of Shame
It seems true that for people who have a tendency to be overly scrupulous or perfectionistic and anxious, “guilt” seems to hang around like a spy looking for every and any evidence of misstep or betrayal of God or others it can find.
This kind of constant vigilance about wrong doing and thinking makes one feel like a lesser being. It leads to being in perpetual fear of disapproval and rejection – often expressed in self-rejection. If guilt has done its proper work and we still feel guilty it is most likely shame in action. Shame is a feeling of unworthiness and being less than – never good enough.
Shame is like sandy water. Shame keeps us all stirred up.
Shame’s mission is to hold us captive to our fear of rejection and unworthiness. We can never seem to “get it right” – whatever the “it” is.
Shame tends to have deep roots in past hurts that suck joy, courage and contentment from our lives. It reflects a need for protection from further hurt.
Shame tends to be chronic and resists the gift of forgiveness and therefore the gift of freedom – partly because the “wrong” is basically one of self-perception – often based on one’s history of past wounds.
So, on Sunday the words that struck me unexpectedly and have settled my spirit this week came from Isaiah 1:18 (NIV):
“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow….” Past sins that are forgiven is a settled matter. No need to revisit them as far as God is concerned.
So once confessed and forgiven, your heart is showered and ready for a life of service and joy. Done deal! You are free from the past.
Other translations use a different phrase, “Let us reason together” …. or “Let us consider your options.” …. or “Let us argue it out.” All of them essentially say the matter is settled – agreed upon by God.
For me who tends to drag around a collection of “the guilts” like picking up debris along the road in a garbage bag, this was just what I needed to hear. Had I heard it before? Yes, but my heart and mind were aligned and God spoke. I accept the gift of freedom gladly. At least for today. And Solomon says that is good enough.
