Dear TSJ Friends,
I hope this Wednesday finds you well. I have missed these Wednesday check-ins and now I hardly know where to start. The most honest thing I can share is I have needed to give attention to my own inner conflicts and discouragements. While I have been taking a self-imposed sabbatical, hearing encouragement and compassion from some of you has meant a lot to me.
But I have been embarrassingly stuck in feelings of inadequacy. Thankfully, the result is good and I am reminded that most of us primarily change when we get uncomfortable enough to want to change.
I have eagerly looked for ways to change my own unhealthy mental habits. The search has been meaningful.
I am not, however, talking about big changes.
I have been completely inspired by thinking about small changes. Very small . . . even “tiny.’
My goal today is basically to tell you about a potentially life-changing book I am reading on habits. Who would think a book about habits could be so inspiring? Well, this one is. It is filled with practical wisdom and information for us all – about how practicing good habits can truly change our lives. It doesn’t sound like a new idea, because it isn’t. But one young writer (James Clear) has captured its truth in remarkable ways.
And the idea that totally captivated me is to start by making a tiny change. I can do tiny.
Habits show up in our way of thinking and our way of behaving. And changing them is very doable when we understand how they work. They can work for us or against us.
For example — I learned about using “the two-minute rule” to stop procrastinating. Two minutes? Really? Just the idea of only needing two minutes leveraged hope for me. Most of us think in terms of high expectations of ourselves and set lofty goals only to experience overwhelm and discouragement as life sets in. We think too big and we fail.
Yes, all of this to tell you I am unstuck! My getting unstuck is a tiny step toward building new patterns of thinking for me. We don’t have to be perfect. But we do have to show up.
I don’t have to make grand changes. I just have to sit at my keyboard and start writing. Again and again. Practice upon practice is the foundation for achieving our dreams of improving our craft or being a better parent or spouse.
I am so excited about this marvelous book. James Clear has a moving and amazing story told in the introduction. And his success today comes from his story. (Most of us learn life’s greatest lessons within the context of our real life stories.) And he speaks from experience, sound academics and is clearly practicing what he has learned.
His book is : ATOMIC HABITS: An Easy and Proven Way to Build Good Habits and Break Bad Ones
The idea that caught my attention is on the top of the book cover:
“TINY CHANGES, REMARKABLE RESULTS”
Between the idea of “tiny,” which really did spark a fire in my heart, and the idea of a “two-minute rule,” I was compelled to order the book. And I have not regretted it for even one minute.
Here is his Two-Minute Rule idea:
Even when you know you should start small, it’s easy to start too big. When you dream about making a change, excitement inevitably takes over and you end up trying to do too much too soon.The most effective way I know to counteract this tendency is to use the Two-Minute Rule, which states, ‘When you start a new habit, it should take less than two minutes to do.’
The idea is to make your habits as easy as possible to start. Anyone can meditate for one minute, read one page, or put one item of clothing away…. this is a powerful strategy because once you have started doing the right thing, it is much easier to continue doing it. p.162-163
Of course he explains all of this. I am simply sharing I have come to a much better understanding of why so many of my own good intentions fail, and how I can approach overwhelm in new ways. It really boils down to building strategies (habits) and remembering the ultimate question is : “What kind of person do I want to become?” He points to this question for us.
I have several areas in my life that I want to improve. One is writing. And so I have been immersing myself in learning from those who are successful. And practice, failures, and more practice seems to be key. But I also want to do many other things better such as sending cards and notes to people or getting people together.
How about you? Do you feel stuck in some area?
Will you join me in asking yourself, “Am I being the kind of person I want to be today?” And then when we discover our weak areas, let’s make tiny changes, trusting that those tiny changes will lead to “remarkable results.”
Right now, one of my goals is to spend two minutes writing in my journal each day. That may mean only two sentences! I haven’t even mentioned his excellent four laws for habit change.
I love to hear from you. Feel free to send comments or questions here.
Happy shepherding to parents and teachers . .. remember, “Tiny changes, Remarkable Results!”
With Love.
Margie and our muse- Solomon
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