Every Kid Needs an “Aunt Mable and Uncle Charlie”

Dear TSJ Friends,

Do you have memories of favorite people in your childhood who simply were special because they were there for you when you needed them (even if you didn’t realize it at the time)?  This is a just for fun memoir story.  So grab your cup of tea!

In the midst of all of the serious news our brains filter each day, it seems like a good time to reflect back on positive memories of our personally special people who have positively shaped our hearts and minds and futures.

Though names and titles are different in your lives than mine, I think every child should have an Aunt Mable or Uncle Charlie (preferably both) as part of their story.

Solomon says his favorite childhood person was a young shepherd boy named David. He has fun telling me about David. So he hopes we have fun remembering our favorite people (who have in some way shepherded us).

AUNT MABLE AND UNCLE CHARLIE . . .

. . . seemed to “take me under their wing” at just the right times.

Aunt Mable was our mom’s sister.  She was the middle child in a family of six children. How I wish I knew more about their story. They are of the generation that revealed little about themselves or their hardships and successes.

I do know Mom was the youngest of six (with an oldest brother and four sisters)  and for much of their lives their parents grew acres of vegetables to sell on the market. The children worked hard and all of them managed and though not wealthy, they all were able to graduate from college, credits to a kind and wealthy uncle of theirs.

From bits and pieces of family lore, it seems to me this family did what all good families do.  They worked hard, scrapped well, defended each other in a pinch, celebrated each other’s milestones, showed various alliances due to age and personality differences, and all stuck together in good times and bad. To give you a context for ages, Aunt Mable was about 4 years older than our mom (who was born in 1919). Aunt Mable married Uncle Charlie, who grew up in New York City.

Please note: I realize memory is a slippery thing so I won’t share too many details because I have not checked for accuracy.  But what I do want to share with you is this . . . Aunt Mable was the one person in my life that “would go to bat” for me if she saw a reason to and that has made a difference.

It was clear that she and her sister (mom) loved each other and laughed well together but they also snipped at each other with equal ease. Aunt Mable would notice everything. And if she thought mom was not fair to me, she would speak up and hold her accountable. Sometimes that was good for me and sometimes I wished she would overlook some things and not “needle” my mom.

But I always sensed the goodness of Aunt Mable’s heart.

We saw Aunt Mable more than Uncle Charlie as she was a homemaker. She was good to all five of us farm kids (whose age spread is 12 years from youngest to oldest.)  She, however, seemed to give me extra attention as she felt I might not receive it as the oldest girl who cared for the younger ones.

So lest you think I mean that our personal “Aunt Mables” are always saints, I need to reassure you that people who make a difference in our lives are always just people who love us well. And imperfectly. Yes, with my aunt and uncle I felt their love. I felt valued, listened to, understood, and special.

Who doesn’t need this kind of validation of who we are? Knowing many of you, I feel certain you are a hero or a Godsend in several people’s lives.

Like our parents, Aunt Mable and Uncle Charlie were highly educated.  A belief in education was something all of my mother’s siblings and spouses shared in common.

There were, however, many differences between my aunt and uncle and my parents that I noticed as a child.

Our mom majored in Latin and French and her other sisters were educators. But Aunt Mable? Wow, could she cook and bake!  Aunt Mable had majored in what was then called “Home Economics.” She often brought baked goods or fresh bread or casseroles when she visited us on the farm.  Mom was a good farm cook but Aunt Mable did more refined cooking.

Also, she and Uncle Charlie were not as strict religiously as our parents. (We were Baptists and they were Methodist.) I thought that a big deal when I was young! Not now.

They also mingled in more sophisticated circles. Uncle Charlie was a professor of Business and Hotel Management at Cornell University.  Though they were modest and generous people, to me their homes – both their starter home and their ultimate home – were classy and welcoming and had quality furniture and art.

We loved and looked up to our cousins (boy and girl) both then and now.

As a younger girl, I remember being shocked to see my Aunt in a bathing suit. She looked glamorous. Another major difference between my mom and my aunt!  I don’t think our mom ever wore one after we were born nor did she have time for such luxuries as swimming and lying in the sun. Or perhaps I have just forgotten.

Aunt Mable was free to do things that our mom was not, due to living on a farm and having five children of varying ages. So my aunt seemed exciting. She would often “surprise us” with an unannounced  visit.  (Of course this was before cell phones and texting!)

Aunt Mable was petite and quite pretty as well as a tad feisty!  She also was ladylike and classy. Uncle Charlie was tall, stately, professorial, gentle and more passive. Each was special to us.

I witnessed tensions between them as their styles of communication were very different. Sound normal? How much adjustment it must have been for an energetic farm girl like Aunt Mable to marry a reserved and distinguished city boy!  Of course I didn’t think of it back then. This is one way life changes our perspectives and understandings.

I remember well the time Uncle Charlie was the tooth fairy for me.  I had gone to stay for a week with them in a cabin in Canada. I lost a molar and I pretended to be asleep but as soon as he slipped the money under my pillow I checked. Two quarters! Certainly more than I would have gotten from the tooth fairy at home.

Both of them loved me well. Each in their own unique way.  I remember when I  was twelve, Uncle Charlie escorted me as though I were older (gently holding my elbow) as we crossed a busy street in Syracuse, NY and he said, “You are wise way beyond your years.”  For the life of me I could not figure out  what he meant but it was as welcomed as an ice cream soda on a very hot day.

It is the apparently “little things” we say and do that can be significant for others.

Aunt Mable took me along with my cousins to the first movie I ever saw. I was seven years old.  As conservative Baptists at the time, our parents did not allow us to see movies.  But my cousins and I saw “The Wizard of Oz.”

Sadly, I felt very guilty about seeing a movie and the witch scared me terribly.  But oh how I could relate to the journey on that “yellow brick road” to finding answers!  It has influenced me in a variety of ways over the years.  But I was so guilt ridden I remember being sick and losing my strawberry milkshake my aunt had treated us with.

Aunt Mable never let anything stop her from making sure I got a taste of her love.

She also left me with two unique gifts that have significant places in my heart. She gave me a small green jewelry box with a pink interior that I treasured for years. It is long gone but the memory lingers.  I was not allowed to wear jewelry but that truly did not matter.  That small green box was for me similar to a young child playing with the cardboard box instead of the toys!

The box symbolized a lot of good feelings and its presence on my dresser blessed me for years. It brought me a a sense of being normal at the time. And I used it for other little treasures or for jewelry I could proudly give away!

Aunt Mable also bought me the only doll I can remember.  I was ten (a bit old for this doll) but she persuaded my mom it would be a good present for Christmas; my mom also paid half for it.  I always think of it as a gift from my special aunt because she insisted on me getting it, but  in truth it was a gift from both of them. I loved that doll.  The fact she persuaded mom made it extra special.

The doll (named Polly after a favorite book character of mine at the time from The Five Little  Peppers and How They Grew) is now tucked in a closet and needs attention. It still remains as evidence of Aunt Mable’s love.

Thank you Aunt Mable and Uncle Charlie. I hope you can read this in heaven.  From your compliments and confidence in me to your gifts, your time, and for seeing the good in the girl, I know you loved me.

All were ordinary things from an ordinary aunt and uncle. But they demonstrated for me the power of advocacy, concern and love that I hope to pass on and on in some small way as long as I live.

Who has lifted your spirits when you needed it in your life?

I would love to hear from you!  It might not be a relative at all.  It does not matter who, but it matters how they helped shape your life!

Good night. It is still Wednesday so may this WW story land gently on your pillow or show up in the morning with your cup of coffee!

With grins, giggles and grace …. Margie and Solomon