Hello to all TSJ Friends!
Have you ever stumbled and fallen and could not get back up?
This question is good to ponder for a moment and it can apply to a physical fall, a business failure, an embarrassing event, a time of wayward behavior from your own integrity or faith or simply a misjudgment etc. If so, how have you imagined people would respond if they knew about it? How would you assume the Good Shepherd would respond?
As I have mentioned in recent blog letters, one beautiful thing that is happening to me during this pandemic is being able to revel in watching our 16 month old toddler outdoors for walks or on the playground. Due to back pain for several months and now recovering from back surgery, I have been forced to slow down and have not been able to run about playing with this adorable toddler. Sometimes I have pouted about this.
But even in this small inner conflict of my wants vs. what I actually can do.. . the lessons I need to re-learn about God, parenting, and courage have strangely come into sharp focus as John and I meet Hendrix and his dad at the playground.
If I were busily playing with him I would not have taken the time to pause and just stand in awe and wonder to observe, listen and reflect on the mini miracles that each day brings into a toddler’s development and discoveries.
Hendrix and Grammy Learn Lessons on the Playground!
About four or five weeks ago now Hendrix was walking more and more without holding onto anything. But he still had to crawl to something stable to pull himself up.
Still, his walking at that time had finally grown steady enough that he would play and then walk away from us to explore other things. He no longer needed something to hold onto.
On one beautiful sunny afternoon when we all needed to get outside John and I and his daddy went to the local playground .
Something a bit different happened that day. We adults were chatting and watching Hendrix. And we followed him around the equipment at a distance. Suddenly we watched as his tiny little body, dressed in jeans, sneakers and shirt toddle off into the grass. It was a very large lawn.
He simply walked away from us. He never looked back. He did not look around either. His little arms were outstretched to help him balance and he was in his glory. He just walked and walked for the sake of walking.
So as parent-shepherds we knew to stay alert, anticipating what may happen.
We slowly followed him. Then it happened. He fell down.
By that point we were close by – though it would not have looked like that from his view down in the grass. Should we rescue him immediately or let him work at getting back up? He clearly was not hurt. In fact he seemed to pretend he was studying the grass.
We watched him figure out what to do. He knew how to crawl, of course, so he got on his hands and knees. But he did not want to crawl. He wanted to walk! He had no idea how or even the ability – yet – to get back up without help and get going again.
So I said to Tim, “Perhaps before he gets too scared about being in the middle of a huge lawn all alone, it might be best to walk over and just stand by him so he can use your leg. That way you are not rescuing him but are available for him.” Tim did just that and it was moving to watch Hendrix reach for his father’s leg and stand again. And walk away again. He was totally unaware of what his father had done for him. He took it for granted of course!
Several days later he did the same thing. By this time he was even stronger and more determined to get where he wanted to go. He had spotted a sign post that he wanted to examine. But it was farther than he knew. This time we watched him get tired and wobbly; he fell again and was clearly scared when he looked up and we were not right by him.
This added one more experience to his learning. His dad repeated his quiet availability and Hendrix used his daddy’s leg to get back up, but this time he also needed to be picked up for a reassuring snuggle and encouragement. And off he went happily ready to play with his Aunt Amy who had come along and happily swooped him up and put him down. His tears of frustration were quickly forgotten as he went off to explore the sign post.
So that fall was a chance for him to face his realization of aloneness and helplessness. He was not happy about it but his father was right there. He got a tiny glimpse of life ahead when many times he will need to be comforted and encouraged by his father, or as Solomon would say, “by his shepherd.”
Another week went by and this little guy had quietly figured out how to get back up without crawling to a post or chair leg or his daddy’s leg. Once he got the hang of it he started walking and running like a pro. It would be so easy to forget how much work and practice it took for him to start walking and then running.
As I watch him busily going about learning and playing and growing stronger each week I find myself reflecting.
I see more clearly than ever how we too need reminders that the One who Knows us looks out for us. And like Hendrix, we don’t realize it. But our Shepherd also allows us to build our confidence muscles and celebrates with us our efforts.
Miss-takes (mistakes) such as falling or failing are a part of growing spiritual and mental muscles just as much as growing strong legs and arms. Sometimes I have forgotten that spiritual muscles grow stronger from experiences that seem out of our control but with the support of God and each other we can keep getting back up and walk with the muscles we develop!
“The Lord is our Shepherd.” Solomon loves to me.
And that makes getting back up possible.
Some of you remember well six years ago yesterday, Mr. Tom went to heaven. I really learned from all of you about how powerful it is to have others do for me what Hendrix’s father did for him in the field of grass … be wisely present so he could get back up. I got too learned to get back up, but like you I have and will continue to have many more chances to build the faith muscles. We do this best together.
What beautiful emails and texts you have kept coming. For me, you stand in the field and are ready to encourage my growth. Thank you. I always welcome your thoughtful feedback and encouragement.
May we all find peace and comfort from the Gift of Love that came at Christmas long ago and lingers in our hearts.
Margie and our Muse Solomon,
