Good Morning, Peeps!
Welcome to a midweek moment with fellow seekers and learners here at The Shared Journey blog. Once again it is late because of my new life as hospice caregiver for our beloved pops and husband and TSJ encourager.
As on any journey, one never really knows what twists and turns, detours and construction, natural disasters or joys and celebrations will come along the way.
As you faithful subscribers have learned, I never imagined blogging about end of life issues.
But here I am. Tom’s cancer went from being a detour to being his last adventure. And what an adventure this is. It is filled with pathos and promise, with heart ache and hope, with peace and angst and with moments of strength and moments of despair. . . and everything in between!
But today I thought you might enjoy seeing “The Boys” as they snuggle next to each other in Tom’s chair which was moved into the TSJ office shortly after the hospital bed became his “sweet spot” where he could stretch out and be comfortable.
Don’t Lean on That!
Today I want to share one of my middle of the night thoughts. But first let me be very clear – I am not a theologian. I am an ordinary earth shepherd-in-training through long days and nights in the pastures with people I love. And sometimes alone.
Minus a lot of deep theological knowledge, I simply believe in God our universal Source of love. I also believe God revealed “God Secrets” through Christ’s life and through the gift of his Spirit left behind for all of us. And all of that is wrapped up in a mortal package (us) taped together by faith. Wavering faith, to be sure, but faith has to be practiced to become strong. But I am thinking most Biblical scholars would wince at my clumsy expressions of magnificence and mystery.
So when I share verses or stories from the Bible please remember my take on them is forged through personal experience, limited perspectives and likely even more limited understanding. And I try so so hard to control things with this limited understanding because I forget who waits for me to cry, “Help!”
In trying to take control I invite angst or worry into my heart. Recently, the phrase “Don’t lean on that!” popped into my head when I was trying to understand what is happening with Tom’s failing health and how to respond well. Like a play where the props are perfect for background but often not for leaning against with one’s full weight, I was leaning on my own worry brain. Oops. Not much support there.
Then Solomon came to the rescue with a reminder. Solomon reminded me that he was named after the real King Solomon who wrote lots of things about wisdom and understanding. He suggested I go to Proverbs (apparently written by King Solomon) and check out some verses I had highlighted years ago. So I did. Here they are:
Proverbs 3:3 “Let love and kindness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” (NIV)
Proverbs 3:5 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” (NIV)
Guess what? That is all I really need to do right now.
As Tom’s “runway” of life is getting shorter and the plane (his Soul) is being fully prepared to take a his flight home to God, our work together becomes more and more focused on what is left that matters.
Thank you, Solomon. These verses seem to say what I needed to remember… it is always about matters of the heart. I am so very thankful for science, intellectual understanding, curiosity, and integrity. Without them we would not have the medicines that keep Tom comfortable as possible. Besides, God doesn’t say to ignore understanding.
It is just not wise to lean on your own knowledge any more than leaning on a flimsy railing or a cardboard wall for a play.
As this day winds down, Solomon and SJ want us all to join them in letting go of our angst and replacing worry and fear with kindness and love for each other and for the Shepherd of all shepherds.
Good evening and rest well-each of you- wherever your journey has brought you today.
Margie
