It is Wednesday Wisdom Day and . . .
Solomon is being totally silent on me at the moment. He sits here on his stool and waits. He waits for me to settle. Waits for me to listen. Waits for me to remember that waiting (especially with expectancy) leads to listening which leads to learning. And yes, he is waiting for me to put my fingers on the keyboard and write WW for our peeps. He is waiting for me to simply tell the truth.
And the truth? So far today, all I can do is pace the floor of my mind and/or the floor of my home . . . longing for something that will soothe the ache of heart that seems to go with love – this time specifically when love includes goodbyes.
When Love Aches
If my blog is an honest blog, it has to include the aches and pains of growing spiritually, psychologically, and intellectually. Today I struggle to remember the grief that seems to be flooding my heart and mind is creating some significant “growing pains” because it feels more like inner groaning pains!
You see, we had a big weekend to celebrate happy memories of Mr. Tom since it was his birthday. And some folks stayed extra days to help sort tools etc. Much excitement was generated preparing for the weekend and deepening of relationships continued beyond the party as we worked and talked.
Today was the last family goodbye when early this morning son, Joe, and his cute little dogs left to return to Texas.
Waves of grief have haunted me all morning and all I can say is, “Not this again.”
Sometimes love does ache.
I was not prepared for the flood of grief that lingered. And once again, I am learning . . .
If you resist it you just grow weary, like treading water to stay alive.
If you swim around it it just reaches out to find you the second you stop swimming.
If you ignore it it constantly plays tag with you.
A Simple Strategy-Good to Remember . . .
A friend who several years ago lost her husband and knows “grief revisited” well, advised me that when people leave after they have been visiting awhile, try to plan to leave with them and go to the store or do something fun. Then when you come back home you more easily slip into your routine. I did not do that this time. But it is such good advice that I am passing it on to you. I have done it before and it has helped.
This time my mood simply reflects the rain that keeps coming.
Solomon took advantage of that idea and gently reminded me, “Your soul is saturated like your lawn. The pools of emotion you face are like the large puddles in your yard that will gradually recede and sustain growth for the grass and plants. In fact, you will have to trim it back it will be so lush. So have no worries. Just write. Then he sat smugly.
“Write what?” I wonder.
“Just write the truth. ” Solomon said, “Chief Shepherd is here in your there. Remember the plaque a friend gave you at the party that said, “Don’t worry about tomorrow. God is already there?”
Solomon put on his silly glasses again.
And looked over them to tell me, “You are tired. You are saturated with emotions. You are one of Chief Shepherd’s zillions of beloved peeps. And lots of them share the journey of grief in one form or another too. Chief Shepherd knows sadness and knows joy. And you all are part of his pastures Remember you have no worries.”
Thank you, Solomon. I feel better already, but I guess you knew that would happen.
So if you by chance may also be struggling with unwanted (yet very necessary) feelings today, I say you are in good company and best of all, our Chief Shepherd is in those soggy pastures of tears with us.
May the sun come out as it always does when the time is right. Meanwhile, we can play in the rain.
Margie (with Solomon’s approval)