The Shared Journey

The Last Wave. Goodbye Loved One

Dear TSJ Friends,

It is a sunny Wednesday afternoon and I am sitting on our back patio where my muse (Solomon) and I are thinking about life, love and loss and how these things sometimes come in waves but can bring new graces (divine interventions) in our lives. 

 And from your emails of late I am seeing many, many of you are experiencing some challenging times. Rest assured you are part of a community of people of big hearts and equally courageous spirits.  You shine the light in the darkness for me when you write.

So, I wonder . . . what comes to your mind when you see the word “wave” ? 

A GIFT OF WAVES

Years ago, when Tom was battling his cancer I received a loving gift that I treasure to this day.. In a little box was a necklace in the shape of ocean waves and made me weep with gratitude.  This gift was from my long time and very dear friend and her daughter. They pooled their resources to purchase it. They were following a strong intuition when they bought it about the storms of grief approaching. And they were right.  It would break my heart should I ever lose this necklace!

They bought it from Kay Jewelers where there was a line of jewelry designed by Jane Seymour (actress, artist and designer.)  It is symbolic of how we ride the waves that crash down on us at times only to discover and rediscover the gifts of love and friendship within the hardships. My niece who used to work at Kay Jewelers, had seen my necklace and explained its meaning.

You may ask, “what is grace?”  Here is a definition I heard recently:

 “Grace is the fruit of divine intervention (Sebastian Siegel, an artist and writer)

And Grace comes in many, many forms. Sometimes it is a simple connection with others.

For example, awhile back John and I celebrated when our youngest grandchild delighted us with his first wave along with the words “bye bye.” Even better, it was followed by his smile of success when we approved.  Those “bye bye” waves are precious to a grandparent!  And for us of late they are not sad good byes because they are just going home a few miles away. But not all good byes are like that.

Of course other times we wave hello as a greeting or wave to catch someone’s attention across the room or parking lot.  Today, however, I am sharing emotional waves like  the grief that recently has been reawakened in me.

THE LAST WAVE

Many of you already know that the last few months have been challenging here at TSJ headquarters due to many things but primarily to concerns for John’s sister in law, Pat, a multi-gifted woman who had refused to let others help her. She lived the last three years suffering alone until a neighbor discovered she had fallen and called 911 against Pat’s wishes.  Fortunately, she ended up in the hospital and then a lovely nursing home. Though it had been her worst fear, it opened her heart. And for the first time in two years of daily texting, I got to see her.

Late afternoon on Wednesday July 7th, John and I were running errands and I had a sudden nudge to stop by the nursing home and see her. We were leaving town on Thursday for the weekend.

When we walked in it was clear things had suddenly taken a major turn for the worse. She tried to speak but was weak.  She apologized and I said, “That is okay.  Allow yourself to sleep and I will just sit quietly here and silently pray before we slip away.” She whispered, “thank you.”  But when I got up, she opened her eyes, reached out her hand and said, “I love you.”  

I fussed with her blanket. John pulled her curtains as she wished.  I bent over the bed and said, “Good bye loved one.”

On our way out the door we waved good-bye. For the last time. She died late Friday (7/9)evening.  

And I miss her.

I am her age with a similar life story. We were connected.  

She regretted closing the world out. It was fear based. But she had lived well in her earlier years. 

Most of our regrets are things we did or did not do out of fear. And fear tends to cause us to be poor listeners of the quiet inner voice that wants to guide us. The Lord calls us but we drop the call; our heart phone is on mute.

 What might you be neglecting that you know would be good for you? 

ONCE AGAIN ~  GRACE CAME  ~ IN A BOOK 

I was cleaning out some papers and books in my office yesterday and once again in my life, a book literally fell into my hands. So I sat down to surf through it quickly.  It was Grace “The fruit of [God’s] Intervention!” showing up again. That is one way Spirit speaks to us.

The niece I mentioned above had gifted me with two short books by Jane Seymour. The above picture is of my necklace and the book:   

“The Wave ~ Inspiration for Navigating life’s Changes and Challenges”  called out to me.  

Jane says: My mother always taught me that if I could only keep my heart open I could let go of anything that was upsetting and allow something new and beautiful to come in.  If your heart is open, you can give love and you can receive love.

And that is exactly what I have been pondering since Pat died.

But there was a second book by Seymour called Open Hearts and in that book an old Chinese Proverb caught my eye because above it was a sketch of two birds. (Most of you know how much I delight in watching birds).

“A Bird does not sing because it has an answer. It sings because it has a song.”

The wisdom and simplicity of that proverb brought the tears. 

Too often I am looking for explanations and answers and missing out on the song in my heart.  

I spend way too much energy ruminating about what I am not and neglecting what I am created to be.

How about you.   Are you singing the song within your spirit?

Hint:  I was in Barnes and Noble earlier today and could not resist buying a book called, “Finding Muchness – How to add more life to life” by Kobi Yamada and illustrated by Charles Santoso. It is simple and its illustrations are delightful.

This may be an answer to discovering you’re calling….

“Lose yourself in what you love. Find yourself there too.”  

So I am resting up a bit and reclaiming the joy of being alive. Sometimes we have to lose ourselves to find ourselves again and in new ways. What better way to live than lose yourself in what you love!

Speaking of love. . .  I am sending you a whole bunch today!.

Margie and Solomon   

QUOTE FROM THE WAVE BY JANE SEYMOUR:

“The cycle of life is so evident in the cyclical motion of the wave. It flows. It crests. It crashes. It lets go.  It takes experience with it as it joins new water and connects with all its wisdom to become a new wave. 

By opening our hearts and visualizing the “cycle of a wave,” we may see that all experience, both good and bad, is simply a part of the “cycle of life.”  It isn’t always a pleasant process, but if we’re open to it, the results can be more wonderful than we ever imagined.”

 

 

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