Dear TSJ Friends,
Our TSJ muse Solomon is joining me in a musing about how Ms. Margie is learning to say “bye-bye” and experience its various meanings from her newest “life teacher” (whom you have heard about a lot in this past year).
While many of us have experienced those most difficult good-byes in our lives that come through losing loved ones or pets, tonight we are not talking about that kind of good bye (grief) . . . though it is real and lingers in our hearts.
This post is about the perpetual act of saying daily goodbyes. And I have a life teacher that you area already familiar with in my posts!
MY TODDLER TEACHER
His name is Hendrix. He is now a full two years and five months old! He has big brown, curious and bright eyes and is turning into a little boy finding power in his developing language skills and in the volume of his cries when unhappy. He is mostly a very happy little boy.
You readers know already that I often refer to lessons I am learning from being with him on the playground. But during inclement weather, he comes to to our home and we continue to see life through his eyes and I often compare it to how the Shepherd sees us.
When he enters our small living room/kitchen area he has a ritual. Rituals serve a purpose for building confidence and predictability in our lives. As he enters he checks out cupboards, drawers, any fixture available that either has a blinking light or a switch that turns things on and off.
Then he disappears behind the living room couch and starts dragging out his toys.
Even as I type this to you on this New Years Evening of 2021, I my eyes are misty as I start reflecting back during this pandemic of COVID-19 on how profoundly observing him has impacted my spiritual and emotional journey. Observing his needs and wants mirrors my own and softens my self-criticism and awakens my awareness of God’s Love for us, His children.
Sometimes I am embarrassed to write about these simple truths. But Solomon keeps reminding me the best things in life may seem simple but they are not easy and they are indeed profound.
For example, what could be more profound than the birth of God in a manger? That all started with pregnancy, infancy and toddlerhood! Mary and Joseph were as human as you and I. I take comfort in that and in knowing God still works through us humans to bring His Love and Light into the world. But I digress . . .
LEARNING TO LET GO . . .
So tonight I am peeking in to share what Hendrix is teaching me about the importance of saying “bye-bye” in an everyday setting. Bye-bye for him is all about letting go and exploring the next adventure.
EXPECTING HAPPINESS . . .
When Hendrix comes in the door he is fully alive and anticipating a fun time! He has entered “Grammy and Grampy’s house.” He has learned to “high five” us as his greeting.
Perhaps we should do the same with ourselves and each other each day?! We could learn to greet ourselves and each other with the expectation of happiness as a toddler feels when he enters his favorite play areas! Anticipation is rather contagious that way.
LITTLE RITUALS CREATE PREDICTABILITY . . .
After he gets his hat and coat removed he starts right in. He has magnetic letters he puts on the refrigerator, checks out the dish washer buttons, opens drawers (of late he reaches into them so locks (limits) are becoming necessary!) and then plays with toys.
USING WORDS FOR WANTS AND NEEDS GIVES A SENSE OF AGENCY . . .
He talks as he explores and identifies everything. He copies what we say and in the tones we use. His sing-song voice can be heard saying, “Are you okay?” or his firm voice says, “I’m okay!” or “Oh nooo!” as he acts out various familiar conversations. He is learning to use words to make his wants and needs known.
He puts up with our adult conversation quite well for awhile and talks to himself (again often mimicking the tones and rhythms of our conversations) as he puts the battery-operated cars on the car track and explores other toys and gadgets. The other day he used a drinking straw to try to unlock the door, calling it a key. Gradually he is creatively putting together ideas and concepts.
TIME TO SAY “BYE-BYE” . . .
After about an hour, he usually decides it is time to go. So he will start to survey the room and gladly leave behind the tornado mess he has made, calling out, “Bye, bye Grammy and Grampy’s house!”
Sound like us? When we head to the next life adventure we really don’t want to deal with some of the failures and messes we have created. We would love to walk away.
REDIRECTED BY DADDY- HIS SHEPHERD
His daddy then steers him back and says, “Come, help daddy pick up. It is put away toy time so we can go bye-bye.” And we adults join him. He picks up one toy to our ten but each time he does so he says, “bye-bye truck or bye-bye block.” It is a matter of fact procedure that represents moving on.
Lately that has been a way to help him transition from one happy experience to the next. We say “bye-bye such and such” and it also helps him move on from unhappy moments.
I have been thinking about this a lot. I have been saying “bye- bye” to that mistake or failure I made earlier, remembering to move into the “now” of life’s adventures. Picking up my messes and learning from them, but truly releasing them too. I watch Hendrix constantly build on what he has learned and am reminded that is what we all do!
Then comes the grand finale. He goes to his daddy and says, “Up-Up, Daddy!” He then moves from saying “Bye-Bye Grampy and Grammy’s house” to, “Bye-bye Grammy and Grampy” and out the door they go. We follow, waving and blowing kisses and saying, “We Love You!”
Those big brown eyes dance and the smile — oh that smile —is his legacy left in our hearts.
We come in and get out the vacuum cleaner.
So as 2021 slips away with all its ups and downs and various messes created, may we too simply say to our heavenly Father, “Up Up Father.” Solomon says the Father of us all longs to bend down and lift us up as we learn to Love each other, dream new dreams, have new adventures and build better relationships!
With that I say “Happy New Year to each of you. May your days be filled with discovery and may you feel the love of each other and of our Chief Shepherd.”
Thank you one and all who have the courage and love to read these letters.
Margie and Solomon
This picture made by niece, Lisa in 12/2014 is in memory of Mr. Tom whose legacy of love lingers…. especially so in December, but always.
