The Shared Journey

Category: Personal Development

Nursery Lesson From a Toddler

Yesterday my husband and I had nursery duty at our church.  It is a wonderful nursery filled with toys that I found myself wishing I had known about even five years ago for our grandchildren. This time there was only one absolutely adorable 20 month old girl to watch.  When it came time for her mommy to say “good bye” there were those inevitable tears.  Fortunately for us, her big sister and mom had pulled out toys of interest to her.  I took great advantage of that!  Tears stopped when the door closed and toys were dancing before her eyes. 

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Shifting Gears

Have you ever noticed that when you get a phone call with unexpected news your mind shifts gears?  Isn’t it amazing how everything can shift for you in a split second?  Your mood shifts, your mind shifts, and your plans often shift! Did you know that something as simple as one word can sometimes have the same effect? The mind is a decision-making, meaning-making instrument. We all know that words carry within them the meaning we attach to them and of course that meaning affects how we think and feel. Two days ago one word exchanged for another shifted my

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Teachers All

I am thinking today about school and teachers. It is that time of year again. In truth, we are all teachers of our children. We parents and grand parents are all teachers in the purest sense of the calling. In that sense I am also remembering two important things.  We sometimes get worried sick about the mistakes we make on those days when we  lose patience, yell, or dig our own heels in.  Then, we feel overwhelmed with guilt and fear that we are ruining our children’s life. By way of reassurance, let us remember that we learn most by

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The Power of Kissing the Boo Boos

Summertime can be the season for “boo-boos.” At some point during the summer you can be pretty sure that many children (and adults) have sported a wound.  Parents have likely scouted for ice cubes, cool cloths, fancy band aids, first aid cream, itch medicine etc. to apply to scraped knees, split open chins, bee stings and bumps and bruises of all sorts. And there have likely been a lot of kisses offered to treat fears, tears, and pain. Truthfully, I have been thinking about the process of healing this past summer. It became intensely personal when I was with my

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From Soulful to Silly

I cannot believe how much my inner world fluctuates lately between being soulful and silly. I have been doing lots of reading, research, and note taking in areas that I believe will be helpful for people who are either re-parenting themselves (isn’t that most of us???) and/or parenting children.   On the soulful side, I am realizing that I am excited and even passionate about wanting to pass on things I wish I had known when our children were born, as well as current information science and psychology teach us about human development and intelligence.  And as I continue to

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Roots and Wings

This summer I have been thinking a lot about roots and wings.      As you already know, I have been fascinated by hummingbird wings. It has reawakened memories. When I was a child struggling with low self-esteem, I daydreamed about what it would be like to have wings like birds and butterflies. Interestingly, my night dreams were often filled with flying and my arms were efficient wings. My flights were smooth and it was wonderful.  If you have never had a flying dream you are missing out on a treat. It elicits an amazing sense of power and freedom.

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Lessons on Balance From an Overtired Child

He is six years old and proudly tells you so. As with all children, I learn so much about life and about myself from him.  This time a couple of lessons came from watching him play a game of balance.  A Wii game for him, a metaphor for me. It happened a couple of weeks ago, but two lessons from the incident linger. The first came about by watching him face personal failure. Watching an overtired child cave under the self imposed pressure of success was like looking into an invisible mirror. To make matters worse, he had declared loudly

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Shame and Guilt be Gone

I hate to admit it, but I am intimately acquainted with shame and guilt. I am on a quest to be free and to inspire freedom in others from life-stripping shame and needless guilt. I also want to encourage parents and teachers to avoid shame-based ways of shaping children’s behavior.  What is an example of shame-based language?  Here are a few: “You should be ashamed of yourself.”  “You are an embarrassment to the family.”  “Shame on you.”  “I am ashamed of you.”  “I am so disappointed in you.”  “You will never amount to anything.” Shaming language focuses on making the individual

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May Article: Happiness is Light

For years I have been reluctant to use the word “happy” as a desired value. I think that is because, like love, “happiness” is misrepresented. From my perspective, intellectuals and religious models in my life have emphasized all things profound and responsible. Having been raised within a strict Christian context, being obedient, selfless, ambitious, faithful, responsible and yes, loving were highly valued.  But happiness?  Not so much. Lately I have been seeing the importance of happiness. And science research is supporting the brain-behavior connections associated with happiness for learning, for creating, and for success. Happiness brightens the way and lightens

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Less Thinking and More Driving

This morning Tom followed me as we drove separately to the restaurant for coffee.  While waiting for the light to turn green so I could cross the main highway, my mind wandered.  I was deep  in thought about a wonderful young mom I had coached last evening. Meanwhile, I was not fully engaged in driving. When I crossed the road and prepared to turn left into the restaurant I  saw a car coming toward me but misjudged how quickly it was arriving.  He was likely hurrying to take advantage of the green light from the opposite direction.

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