Happy Wednesday Wisdom Day!
As with most mornings these days, Tom started his day with a coughing spasm. But this morning, as I stumbled wearily out of bed to face the biggest challenge of this hospice care journey (managing his cough), I was thinking about TSJ peeps.
It is Wednesday and that is our day to celebrate being TJS “peeps” as our Solomon and SJ (“the boys”) like to say.
I think about the many paths of the earth journey that you are traveling too. And many of you are stumbling into bed late at night and out again during the night or early morning hours. Some of you have babies to feed, and others a sick kid to tend to, aging parents or a sick spouse or facing your own illnesses. Some of you are juggling all the above! And fatigue becomes another matter of concern. There are times when caffeine and/or sugar don’t even help!
The other challenge that life brings us is how to care for the visibly practical, physical, material, intellectual and public side of ourselves and the soulful/spiritual side which craves rest, play, meditation and contemplation, peace and quietness. Solomon likes to specialize in helping us blend the two into a peaceful whole.
Sometimes if feels like they are competing forces. The physical and social demands can be driven by our need for creature comfort and our internalized needs/desires for success, worth, and measurable accomplishments. When you think about it, it is amazing how driven we are to do well, be perfect (really?), meet others’ expectations and live up to our own internalized messages of success. Our spiritual demands may be driven by matters of the heart and soul…invisible yet powerful too.
I too am straddling the demands of how to care for the physical, earthly issues and the soulful, spiritual issues as we continue with home hospice care.
For matters of soul care. . two things that have helped me in other difficult times: 1. Observing mother nature and 2. a morning “quiet time” of mediation and contemplation. Both of those have nurtured my soul from the time I was a young child and completely befuddled by a troubled childhood. And today I am very thankful that I was raised where nature was part of our lives and I experienced God as a refuge and strength.
This morning I was unable to go back to sleep and that was a good thing. I snuck into my office with a cup of tea and watched the daylight reveal its current beauty of fall colors. Each tree in our backyard has its own beauty, it’s own timing. The white birch cannot be the maple and the maples even vary! Together, all the trees complete a beauty none could quite accomplish alone. In that way, they are in the act of completion, not competition.
Perhaps… just perhaps… it would help us to realize that we make things a matter of competition that are really a matter of completion…of making up the whole. Kids are each different with different skills and dreams and strengths. Put them into a classroom or in a family and viewed from a wholeness lens …. they are like the backyard beauty…each distinct but together they complete the picture.
Right now, I am being daily reminded of the reality of completion. Completion is the sense that when you look at the whole, like a completed jigsaw puzzle, each piece of life is important. Even body, mind and spirit are not in competition…they work together as part of the completed tapestry of our lives. And remembering that we are literally made of “star dust” as Bill Nye, and other scientists claim… brings us all into that great mystery of life itself.
Tom’s body is working hard to be well. He continues to be brave, thoughtful, and kind. Our children are truly showing that same spirit and determination. They have learned from a boy scout type of father who specializes in “dong his best and doing the right thing.” They and their spouses are like the beautiful trees … each differing in style…but as a whole (called family) we celebrate one special piece of stardust whose name is Tom and whose spirit keeps us loving and laughing! And our friends and greater family also reflect the power of “the village” it takes to care for one another.
Solomon says we all are in good hands. Love wins.
Margie and Solomon
These song lyrics are what popped into my head immediately upon reading this (right after grabbing a tissue for my tear covered, exhausted cheeks)…..[But] out of these ashes beauty will rise!
You my dear aunt are pure beauty, through and through ((hugs))
Lisa, thank you so much for your sweet comments. I am so sorry I did not see them to express my gratitude. You are a brave young woman and I draw inspiration from your courage to live life with all its challenges after brain trauma!