Happy Wednesday TSJ Peeps!
What a week it has been! I titled today’s blog entry as “Holding on While Letting Go” because it describes the paradox of my current state of being. The final move out of our homestead (TSJ headquarters) into a temporary place has left me feeling uprooted and weary. But surprisingly it helps me practice uniting two principles we all experience at times to a greater or lesser degree …holding on and letting go.
Think about it… when our children grow up we experience the paradox of holding on and letting go as they move on in the world. When we pursue our dreams or change our careers we do the same. But just what do we hold onto and what do we let go of?
I do not need to write much about what it felt like to leave behind the keys and the two garage door openers last Friday night and walk alone into the night air. Most of you reading this are TSJ subscribers and have followed the story. Many, many of you have been unspeakably helpful in sharing this part of my life’s journey with me. And most of you have an affection for Solomon, Solomon Junior (SJ) and Lovey the Lavender Lamb who joined us after Tom left the boundaries of this earth. I hope they make you smile.
Most of you have been reading this blog to get an idea of what is happening to us here at TSJ. And “here” for now is our cozy apartment across town that is filled with light through large windows and is a perfect holding spot for “the boys” and me while our new place is just starting to be built.
I am entering a time of cocooning. In the cocoon all things familiar to the caterpillar turn to mush. I think it is part of being uprooted and replanted for me. It means I will spend more time in quiet and catch up on much needed rest for body, mind and soul. When you do that to a plant its leaves look wilted for a bit. But the roots soon grab nutrients to sustain it and nourish it to full health.
In time you will experience with “us” (my muses and me) the subtle changes in what I write and in the focus of my work as a life coach. There is nothing like living the experiences we help others move through!
I pray for courage, strength and wisdom. And I believe that is basically the underlying theme of The Shared Journey now and into the future. I hope to refine and define my work more clearly as I learn to hold on to those things of eternal importance and let go of the gripping aspects of worry and fear of failure.
If nothing else in this heart breaking part of life’s journey forward without Tom, I can share that just when I think I cannot do something or I cannot stand one more wave of grief or loss, I experience amazing little “happenings” or signs of the Presence. I call these “just in time graces.” They come in every form imaginable from people to mother nature. Grace abounds. It waits to be noticed and acknowledged.
I am learning to hold on to gratitude. When I cannot sleep or when I become overcome with what I am facing, a grateful heart really is exactly as ancient wisdom has always told us. It brings a sense of peace. It opens up our heart and our inner eye to see what is good. Or to see a speck of light, however muted it may be, in the densest of dense fog.
Today I am exceedingly grateful for Amy. It is her birthday. She is Tom’s daughter and I am her “bonus mom” as one blogger (Lisa Terkheurst) has renamed “stepmom.” I love being her bonus mom.
Today I am also grateful for all of you, the most incredible supporters and encouragers of TSJ.
I sometimes wish I could write all about you here. Right from the beginning along with Tom, my long time friend, Fidella, and her daughter, Carolyn have kept me going. They support TSJ with prayers and encouragement.
An example of what you people are doing. … This morning Carolyn texted a link to a song “Holding on” by Hall(John Mark) , West (Matthew), and Herms (Bernie), and sung by a group called Casting Crowns. Although she is a busy and highly dedicated teacher and mom, she took the time to share it before she left for work.
That is the kind of people working and playing in the TSJ pastures of life. One part of the lyrics she sent came as one of those “just in time graces.” It says:
“So when you’re on your knees and answers seem so far away, you’re not alone. Stop holding on and just be held. Your world’s not falling apart, it’s falling into place. I’m [God is] on the throne. Stop holding on and just be held.”
So are we to hold on or let go? Both. Wisdom helps us know. I am holding onto the belief that Chief Shepherd is in our pastures. In time I am learning to let go of control and allowing life to happen with less resistance on my part.
I walk forward step by step trusting my world is “falling into place” according to Divine Design. Clearly those who penned those words and put it to music shared their journey with us. Thank God for each other.
So let’s play in the pastures…sharing our stories and truly living full out while here on the planet!
Margie (with Solomon’s approval)
