Good Morning TSJ Readers,
This week we are thinking about socks, seasonal shifts and gifts, holes, threads and hope. Darn it! Things have been tough since we lost our beloved Tom’s steady support and humor.
Last week I only wrote to TSJ Peeps (as good old Solomon calls us) who are subscribers. As we navigate numerous changes at TSJ there will be times when only subscribers will receive Wednesday updates or special announcements. So feel free to sign up and become a subscriber.
That being said, welcome to this week’s new subscribers! Life is a shared journey and together we find courage, strength and wisdom so I am delighted you are here. Be sure you read a bit about us so that Solomon makes some sense to you.
This week Solomon and I have been talking about darning and decided to share it here on the blog site. It all started with me receiving a new pair of socks for my birthday – hand knitted by a dear friend. They fit perfectly. Now if you live where the weather is very warm, wool socks will not sound like such a great gift. But if you are where the seasons are changing and cold is in the air already. . . new socks are wonderful. Which just goes to show you that nothing applies to everyone, except perhaps various principles of living well as God’s peeps during our visit to Planet Earth.
So maybe there will be at least some simple wisdom here for you whether you wear socks or not!
Have you ever darned? I mean … darned worn out socks with big holes in them?
The process I am going through in moving forward through loss and upheaval has made me think of when I was a teenager on the farm. I was taught then how to darn socks and patch torn jeans (which now we pay big money for!).
The men worked hard and money was scarce. And when the socks got holes they needed to be mended.
So I know about holes and the work it takes to mend them. Losses leave holes in our heart with frayed edges much like well warn socks. If you don’t take the time to mend them the edges get even more frayed and mending gets more complicated.
I received another gift from a new friend at the apartment suites. It was a book on recovering from grief and loss that has helped me remember that recovery is truly is a process…neither an event nor an accomplishment. It also made me realize again that when we ache inside and we are more vulnerable than usual, we need to practice some self-compassion. Or at least I do. I want so badly to feel like my former self and tell you there is a way to heal quickly that I wear myself out trying to beat it. But soul and body know better.
So, as you can imagine or have experienced yourself ..my heart has a big hole and like worn out socks also has ragged edges, loose threads here and there, and is vulnerable to more damage. This happens with other kinds of human crisis as well. A heartbreaking failure, gut wrenching fear, physical pain, personal rejection, abuse of any kind, natural disasters, a sick child all create trauma …ragged edges to our days. Each can leave our hearts feeling thread bare.
I was taught when you darn socks you reinforce the ragged edges first and then you weave new threads vertically and horizontally firmly trying not to make the threading too tight or too loose. We had a bulb like thing you put the sock around so you could work the threads more easily. Sometimes I even used an old light bulb.
I know I have said before that a friend shared a quote with me once to the effect, “You can never make a carrot grow by pulling on it.” In other words some things cannot be rushed. They are a process with unique timing.
Darning socks was tough for me as a youth because I would much rather climb trees as I never liked to sit and concentrate for long… especially to darn old socks! Yes, I would unhappily say, “Darn it!” when mom brought me socks to repair.
But today I am putting a new spin on the phrase “darn it.” It says to take time and allow myself find strength from all the threads that are waiting to be woven together. It means … let’s mend it.
So SJ suggested I go buy some new thread to fill in the holes! It seems he has been talking with Solomon about missing the way things used to be too. And he is a practical kind of guy. Why not just go get some thread and start mending things?
What a great suggestion! I am now working on weaving threads of self-compassion and patience as I surf the waves of grief and find myself asking existential questions that have reawakened for me.
I am appreciating the threads of support and love from family, friends, TSJ fans, books, and meeting new people on a similar journey of faith and hope. So many wonderful threads can blend together and reinforce wholeness again.
Do you have an area of vulnerability…feeling frayed at the edges?
Let’s darn it! (mend it!) realizing things will not be the same but can be even stronger with new threads of compassion, patience, and hope.
Darn it, Tom! I miss you terribly.
“For everything there is a season.” Maybe it is my season for patient darning! Solomon seems to think that is so. He even put on his glasses to see the threads better!
Margie
