Good Morning TSJ Friends!
Have you ever noticed how we like to blame someone when something 
is “wrong” or not going the way we like? I am sure you have heard, “It’s all his (her) fault” more than once amongst children. Sometimes adults essentially say the same when we point our finger at the boss, our spouse, neighbor or anyone we deem culpable for our unhappiness.
I almost don’t need to remind you that “The Boys” (Solomon and SJ) and I have experienced loads of change together since Mr. Tom got ill and left us in charge while he was transported by the angels to the other side. And I think The Boys (as Tom called them) have held up very well. They even accepted a lavender lamb for awhile. But they had me pretty much to themselves and liked that.
Now something new seems to be in the air. They are clearly missing the way things were. And a strange new bond seems to be forming.
Sigmund, a puppet, has entered the scene this week. He brings back past memories. Many years ago Tom and I went to a professional workshop in Saratoga on how to put humor and laughter back into the workplace. Sigmund (named after Freud) brought humor to my school psychology office, much like Solomon brings wisdom to my TSJ office.
Sometimes our brains tend to use the past to make sense of present feelings and circumstances. Sigmund has been around longer than the boys. Until now they have ignored each other.
Suddenly Sigmund and Solomon Junior have formed a bond. Like kids in a blended family (or any family for that matter), they have bonded because they have common complaints – in this case about me. Hmm…. such apparent bonds emerge in other places too, such as with office workers, don’t you think?
Yes, today I found SJ and Sigmund huddled by Solomon. It would take up too much space to give you the full discussion of whining and complaining I heard, so I will highlight the gist of it.
What I overheard reminded me of just how difficult unanticipated and/or unwanted change can be for us. Yes, change itself can be exciting and exhilarating but it also can be exhausting, downright annoying, and even a bit scary – or a mixture of all the above.
One thing for sure, according to Solomon, change provides an opportunity for us to practice self-examination so we can become more understanding of ourselves and others. Understanding can generate both personal and interpersonal growth.
It reminds me of what Socrates is famous for saying, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” An examined life can bring meaning and richness to life experiences.
Still..change is rarely easy.
Solomon had his work cut out for him as he was bombarded with complaints, confusion, and worry about things between Ms. Margie and them. It seems Sigmund and SJ were united in their attachment to life as it once was. Each for different reasons, of course, but not only do they miss Tom but they feel abandoned by me. Not because I don’t pay attention to them, but because they do not want to share my attention with my friend, John. So they blame him when I seem different or am preoccupied. Last week I did not write a WW and that really bothered them (and me too!). But Solomon explained it was not John’s fault; in fact John felt badly when he heard I did not write one!
That being said, I must tell you they said nice things about Mr. John and how they have seen me laugh a lot more again and how kind he is to me, but they are still afraid I will not be the same Ms. Margie they know and love. Nor will I notice them anymore. (My heart broke hearing them feel confused and abandoned.)
And they also told Solomon they have heard me getting counsel about how to handle my own grief and love for Mr. Tom and John’s sadness for his late wife and how to proceed wisely into the future in this new dimension of life the two of us are experiencing.
Solomon listened patiently of course and already knew all of this and more. And Solomon reminded them that TSJ is very important to me and is completely honored and supported by John. They admitted they have seen me happily enjoying coaching sessions again and told Solomon they do want me to be happy.
He also assured them that I am aware of how tough this can be on all of us. He firmly stated, “We do not and cannot know what the future will bring but rest assured you are still loved and important to Ms. Margie.”
Solomon also reassured them that while I am often preoccupied and busy, that is a normal consequence of major change. Even happy changes bring stress for everyone. It takes time to settle. He told them that it is natural to be uncomfortable and concerned. But love abounds and will win, whatever happens.
Soon I heard laughter and entered the room and hugged them all. What a help wise old Solomon can be. They felt comforted and hopeful again. And maybe understand a wee bit better that we all want to be loved and special. And the Chief Shepherd is ultimately our Source no matter who comes and goes from our days.
So, I hope you can embrace the day knowing we are in God’s hands and all is well at TSJ. And the office is hums with activity.
Margie
